Reynaldo and his buddy Jasaiah. 
Dominic played a raccoon during our Creation Production End of the Year Show. He did an awesome job creeping across the stage. We are also so proud of the art work he had on Display at the Art Exhibit. He is very talented and loves Art Class. I will have to make sure that I take some pictures of some of his Art Work. He will continue classes in the Fall when the Art Academy starts up again.
Here is a picture of Kiarrah in her ballet outfit. She danced with her Arts Academy Class during the Creation production that was last Saturday. She has a great love for movement and surprised us with how well she followed directions and loved being on stage. This is not something we will be giving up on.I hate even posting this because I don't want to be so down and negative. This is so not me and I think that is what is making it so much harder for me right now. I am really going through some ugly depression. In fact yesterday it was so horrible that my hubby came right home. I was a wreck and couldn't stop crying.
Kiarrah has been out of control and the boys have been EXTREMELY fresh and defiant. I don't know if it is because the baby is coming or what. They are out of school as of next Tuesday. Yesterday I was trying to get some things done around the house because I want to be alittle more organized for when Gracie comes. Also I have a lifegroup coming to help clean my house and I just need to get some stuff put away so it will be easier for them. Anyway my doorbell rings and it is some lady telling me that my daughter has been hanging out the window for the past 5 minutes. She opened the window which was locked mind you and then proceeded to open the screen. I was in shock and so embarrassed. The lady proceeds to speak to me like I am a horrible parent. I didn't know how to respond. I was in shock. I came back in the house and proceeded to breakdown. I called my husband and just sobbed. I started having horrible contractions and knew I needed to calm down and get a grip. He called me back and said he was on his way home. I felt horrible. I didnt want him to have to leave work but I was scared and out of it. I can't handle her right now. I am so unstructured and tired and have some stuff that needs to be done. I can't just sit there and stare at her all day and watch every move she makes. I feel like the worlds worst parent. I have a child that hangs out windows, runs in the street and runs out of the house. She has no concept of fear and no impulse control. The drugs really screwed her up that way. After a call to our church we have decided to enroll her in the Preschool. It is way more than we can afford but if we don't do something I am gonna end up in the hospital on bedrest or in preterm labor and it is still too early. I can handle the boys alone and they will allow me to rest when I need to. They like their down time. yes we have issues but nothing like it is with Kiarrah. I don't know how we are gonna do this but I am totally trusting God on it. We are applying for Urban league but that will take a month or two to go through approval so we will need to pay for it until then.They are working with us on it and that is a huge blessing. Can you please just agree with us in prayer that God will provide? It would cost me more to have someone come to the house to help out and it would be more stressful with another person here. Everyone has plans for the summer or jobs or their own responsibilities so it is crazy. Also could you pray that I can get through this dark period. I am very scared of dealing with post partum because of having a strong history of depression already. I went off meds when I got pregnant for fear it could hurt the baby. There is not enough research out there to show it won't.
I feel very vulnerable sharing all this but I need help and prayer. Thanks for listening. If I am quiet this is why.
What do you do for a child who just has no fear and doesn't even have a clue that there is danger out there and that some actions can cause her to get hurt? I have a child who has no impulse control and thinks nothing of running in the street or going outside by herself or thinks nothing of hanging out a window. Is the wiring that screwed up in her brain? Can you teach a child to fear? Can you teach them to have impulse control? I am just so baffled at how a child can be like that.
My husband took Kiarrah on Friday to his company picnic which is held up at camp. It was a nice relaxing day for me. I basically didn't do a thing but I will chalk that up as following Dr.'s orders. Well, while at camp I find out that Jim decided to forget that he is 38 years old and not as sturdy as he used to be. He decides to ride a slide board scooter down a hill really fast!! What he forgot to notice is that there was a bump in the road up ahead and he hit it head on and went flying in the air with not the greatest of ease and hit the ground and slide for quite awhile. Meanwhile removing several layers of skin in the process on his whole leg and hand.
They cleaned him as best they could and he headed home to share his great excitement with me. The dummy wanted to do it again until he saw the blood. My past few days have been spent bandaging and unbandaging him and cleaning his wounds. Thank God it doesn't gross me out and I still want to be a nurse. He is trying to seek a lot of pity from me but he ain't getting it. Stupidity doesn't deserve it. Big Mr. Macho Jim can barely walk and whimpers when he gets bandages changed. Toughen up big guy.
This morning Kiarrah tells me that she knows what she wants to be when she grows up. A teacher, a fighter fighter ( firefighter) and a mother. This all being said with her little New Jersey Accent. She then proceeds to tell me that she has to get married too because Reynaldo told her that if she wants to be a mother that has to be done first. She then says "He's a smart boy". This just made Rey glow. Right you are baby boy and baby girl.
I have a new obsession!! FLAN. OMG! It is to die for. Our friend 's mom made a coconut Flan and my mouth is starting to water just thinking about it.
Today has been a nice quiet day. I started my day with this returning morning sickness but it has subsided. I am actually child free until about 3:00. Daddy took "the butterfly " to his work company picnic. Hopefully she is having a blast and will come home tired but not too tired. She has dress rehearsal for the show tomorrow night. She is so excited.
I spent the morning reading, shopping on eBay for nursing Jammie's and comparing baby carriers LOL. Found one I want but it is just too much money. Hoping to find one on EBay cheaper.
I also worked on my baby registry and I had to come up with a list of names for invites for one of my baby showers. After that my morning was shot. My husband told me I was not allowed to do any cleaning. What a Guy. Think I will keep him Forever and Ever. Did I mention how wonderful he has been to me lately?
I am kind of in a funk today. Feeling overwhelmed and stressed. My hormones must be out of whack or something. I need a nap. I am going to spend the morning going through 2 boxes of baby stuff that my friend Crystal in TX sent me. What a blessing. I actually cried when I opened the boxes. For some reason it hit me, I AM HAVING A BABY. I mean I have know it all along but it just seems so much more real because the time is getting closer. I still have so much to do to prepare but yet need to take it easy and then on other days I have no energy.
We have a huge production at church on Saturday. Kiarrah will be dancing with her Creative Movements Class. They are dancing to Zipadee Doo Da and she will be a sunflower. The boys will be animals. Also some of Dominic's art work will be on display. He is extremely creative and already has his own palette as his instructor says. We are so blessed to have an Art's Academy through our church. Reynaldo's drum class will not be doing anything in the show this year. Maybe next year. He is gonna make a cute little mouse though.
I will be sure to take pictures.
I had an appointment with the Dr. Monday. Everything looks good except the fact that my BP is up a little and I am not getting any rest and I am overdoing it. ( Ya Think? I have three kids and a house to take care of?) Anyway We are looking at August 10th as C section Day. I was given the major scare tactic of taking it easy until week 34. He said there was a whole floor at the hospital dedicated and full of women like me who are stubborn and don't take it easy. If I am in the same position when I go back on the 25th I am being admitted. I think it worked. I am scared and trying to obey. Gracie Girl is head down. My fluid is ok, cervix length is good but placenta is still very low. She is still beating me up big time. She loves to move around. I am having a lot of pelvic pressure and Braxton Hicks. Just pray that I can get through the next few weeks. The kids are out of school on the 26th so then life gets crazy.
I am not sure who wrote this but this is awesome advice.
CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14 K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34 Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)
It was such a busy weekend. It is finally getting to the point where I am forced to slow down. My energy level comes and goes and I am getting so worn out so easy. I guess I will need to now with no choice in the matter.
Friday I went to Walmart and bought the kids a small pool to play in. They were thrilled with it and used it that day. It was in the 90's outside so it felt awesome. We had a bunch of friends over later that evening for pizza and just plain fellowship.
Saturday Jim went to sing in a concert in Conneticut with our Worship Team. I was orginally going to go with him but it was so hot and the concert was outside. I knew I would be trying to chase the kids everywhere. Not something I am up to at almost 8 months pregnant. Instead I met with my friend Dawn and her daughter and we went to visit them and then we went to Chuckie Cheese and then to see the movie Surfs Up. We had a blast although I am so not a fan of Chuckie Cheese. It is crazy there. Jim actually beat us home.
Yesterday was an awesome uplifting sermon that really spoke to my heart. I spent a lot of time at the altar just talking to God. I know he has some big things planned for my life and I want to be in His Will. I don't want to be scared anymore of those things. He is bringing us to a whole new level in ministry and I want to be focused on him. I thank God for the friends around me that have a desire for the same things. It amazes me at how much God already uses me to minister to those around me. I want Him to use me.
Later that afternoon we spent time with more friends as different people stopped by. I love living where I live. We are surrounded by people we know.
Today I have a Dr.'s appointment to check on baby Gracie. Next week is another Ultrasound. I am more excited about that one. I do need to talk to the Dr though about all of this pressure I am feeling. It gets worst when I walk around. Baby girl needs to stay in there and bake alittle longer.
Friday I was holding a newborn on my lap with his little rear seated on my belly and Gracie was kicking away. I was teasing Elijah's mommy saying that Gracie is already kicking his butt :)
The boys are so ready for school to be over. Reynaldo is finally doing so much better in school. He is actually liking writing sentences. I really need to work with him over the summer. I think we are going to do some journalling and letter writing to family and also we will work through some workbooks. We will do school stuff for 1-2 hours a day. That will also include reading in that time. I want to work with Kiarrah. My only concern though it that she is so bright now I don't want to get too far ahead or she is going to deal with major boredom in school when it starts. She is already doing Kindergarten work and will only be starting preschool.
I will work with her a little though. She wants so bad to spell stuff and read. Maybe we will start with a few basic sight words. I also need to get some more craft supplies. She loves doing crafts. Dominic does also.
Well, I best hit the shower. Kiarrah is sitting her telling me she wants to get all pretty. LOL
My daughter is driving me bananas. (Line taken from her tshirt that says my brother drives me bananas) She will not keep her seat belt on in the car when I am driving. Any advice? Also she keeps escaping out the door when we are occupied doing something else. Yesterday I was washing my oldest sons hair and I thought she was in the living room with her other brother and next thing I know my cell phone is ringing and it is my neighbor to let me know that Ki is outside. She literally needs to be at my side 24 7 or she is either into something, out of something or just plain in trouble. This morning I woke up to a girl who covered herself in Vaseline which she took from the bathroom. The week before she had used my shaving gel and put it in her hair. The horrible fact is that she then lies about doing it. The evidence is all over her. It is not like I can lock her door or the bathroom door. I just don't know what to do with her. She gets lots of attention so it is not that she is lacking in that. The other thing that she is doing is not doing what is asked of her. It took her over 1/2 hour to get dressed yesterday morning. We had to keep telling her over and over. I even broke it down for her and asked her to put each item on step by step. She would just stand there ad either sing or dance or just play. I refuse to dress her. She is old enough to do it herself.
Is this just a 4 year old phase? I am losing my sanity with her antics.
Kiarrah fell in love with "Pinkie" at Sarah and Vincent's house on Memorial Day. There were the best of buds. All of my children love dogs but we all have Asthma and are allergic to Dogs. If I ever got a dog this is the kind of dog that I would want.
What motivates you the most in your walk with the Lord? What keeps your feet walking forward in steps of Faith? Is it a person? A scripture verse? A song? How do you keep your Faith Alive?
My little model striking a pose
My boys love cereal. Dominic usually wolfs down two huge bowls every morning.
I know, I know Chocolate for breakfast? Rey loves Coco Puffs
Boy was it hot and humid today. UGH. I just kept reminding myself that Hell is hotter LOL. I can't even imagine. Kids were up at the crack of dawn and I was exhausted because my DH had talked my ear off the night before. He is too much but I sure love him.
We did some food shopping and got laundry done and cleaned house. This evening we had our new neighbors and some other mutual friends from church over for dinner. We had an awesome time eating and fellow shipping. We are so blessed with our friends!!! I love being around other people who I have a lot in common with. We mesh well and the kids can play together. Mind you, their children were younger but the kids still did fairly well together. It is good for my children to be around the babies to to prepare them for Gracie's arrival.
I was grooving on watermelon today. Man was it good. I also bought some peaches and nectarines and Bing cherries. I love this time of year. I can't wait to eat some yummy Jersey grown tomatoes.
There is an awesome food program that I don't know if all of you had heard about. Many Churches all over the Us participate. Thought you might want to check it out. My family has been receiving it for several months and it decent quality food at a low price. The program is called Angel Food Ministry . Anyone can participate. For only $25.00 you get a huge box of food including meat.
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Yesterday was kind of a stressful day to deal with. I am glad it is over. I got a call from my mom first thing in the morning to let me know that my Dad got let go from his job of 25+ years. The company is not doing good so had to let a lot of people go. My dad had a false hope that his job was secure and that he wouldn't be in the bunch but of course he was. He was nearing retirement. My parents will do OK financially because he can get unemployment but they lost health insurance. My mom is working a temp job that could turn permanent. I just know my dad is happy to be let go because the job was very stressful for him and he hated it anymore. He said he slept better last night than he ever has. He is 1 1/2 yrs away from retiring.
Later in the day I got a call from my OB GYN's office. They got blood results back from my last labs and I have Group B Strep bacteria in my urine so they are treating me with penicillin. I am probably going to have to keep getting treated with it and then through an IV during birth and Gracie will have to be on one to after she is born. Please pray that it doesn't affect her in anyway and that the antibiotics will keep her safe. I have to admit my faith was shaken a little by what I read about it online. I am one of these types of people that have to read everything about everything and then I scare myself.
I went for my last fetal echo cardiogram today and her heart looks healthy. Praise God.
I don't know if I had told you all but I actually had gone 2 weeks without getting sick and unfortunately it started again last night and then this morning. It was too good to be true.
She is a very very active baby and I think she is gonna be a future gymnast with all those flips she likes to do. Sometimes I am like... Baby girl please calm down.
Not much else going on. My new neighbors from my church moved in downstairs and I am really excited about that. They just had a little boy about 2 weeks ago. It will be so nice to have another stay at home mom around.
TTFN
My kiddos are so ready for school to be over. I don't blame them. I am so tired of the homework everyday. I think it was made to torture parents.
Reynaldo said he is planning to swim all summer in his pool. Well, we don't have a pool yet but I am planning on getting them a big kiddie pool. That is where you are gonna find my pregnant self. Sitting in the pool with a nice glass of Decaf Ice tea!!!! I'll even let the kids splash me. I even found a maternity swim suit on Sale for $6.99!!!! What a deal!!!!
Kiarrah said she gonna go to the beach all summer. Sorry honey with the price of Gas right now that ain't gonna happen very often.
Dominic is planning on riding his scooter. I just pray for no trips to the ER. He is so rough when he plays outside that I am surprised that we have not had any broken bones.
The kids have about 3 more weeks of school.
1) I love to sleep.
2) I clip coupons and love to see how much I can save at the grocery store.
3) I grew up in Indiana.
4) I was a writer and managing editor of my school newspaper.
5) I sang in high school choir for 4 years.
6) I am terrified of mice and snakes.
7) I love to scrapbook.
8) I am teaching myself to crochet
9) I love to cook new recipes
10) I hate liver
11) I hate scalloped potatoes( they make me gag)
12) I think armpits are ugly
13) I am the oldest of three girls
14) My favorite movie of all time is Mary Poppins
15) I was a nanny for 15 years
16) I love grandma underwear (TMI I know)I am a comfort kind of gal
17) I love eggplant parmigiana
18) My hubby calls me sweetness
19) I loved riding my bike and playing ditch em when growing up.
20) I used to have the same reoccurring nightmare about a wind up mouse for years.
21) I can pick up quarters with my toes
22) I love country decor and stuff from Amish country
23) I am a want to be photographer
24) I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school for a few years and survived
25) I hate Math
Do you ever have a day when all you want to do is turn into Wendy Whiner? Well I am having one of those days. Today I am trying to clean my house and am amazed that we just did a quick cleanup yesterday and today we need to re vacuum, dust and pick up. My kids drive me crazy. I am on them all the time to put their stuff away but they still leave it out. They aren't even phased when I take it away for awhile unless it is my oldest's PlayStation or a game boy. I feel like a broken record" Make your bed", Put your clothes in the Hamper" Pick up your toys" . I should just put it all on a tape and push a button when needed.
And the Bathroom!!! Need I get started on that? Daddy Jim needs to give the boys a AIM lesson. Time for Let's sink the Cheerios. Maybe I need to cover the mirror in there. I have on more than one occasion seen the boys looking at themselves in the mirror when they are supposed to be watching their aim. Can you spell GROSS!!!! I thank God I am having a girl. Maybe I should turn bathroom cleaning duty over to all "three little boys" in the house. Maybe then they will be more careful.
Yesterday we spent a wonderful day up in North Jersey close to the PA line at the home of an awesome Christian couple at our church. We had a fun day eating, fellow shipping with our Pastors and friends. I fell in love with the log cabin home and just being surrounded by the woods. I was a little disappointed to not catch a glimpse of a black bear. They are said to frequent the area along with many deer. My kids loved their two little doggies. It is just so peaceful out in the middle of nowhere. We are truly blessed with our friends. I am amazed at the dedication that Sarah and Vincent have. This couple drives an hour and a half to church not once but twice a week. I never understood how they could do it until I saw the area that they live in.
I pray that God richly blesses them for their faithfulness and commitment. I will post some pictures later once I find my camera.
I think I am going through a change in my life. God is changing things but for the better or should I say that I am finally allowing Him too. I am so tired of compromising my beliefs and morals to be accepted by others. I have done it for years to please friends or should I say people who I thought were my friends. It amazes me how eventually you find out who your true friends are. I want to be transparent. A what you see is what you get kind of friend. I recently read a quote on Kari's blog that really struck me. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " Dr. Suess. It is so true. We get wrapped up in fitting in and conforming. We are only hurting ourselves in the end because we then become someone we are not. I spent years being friends with people who would curse and and not live a life of Christ yet would claim to be Ultimate Christians. I am not talking about people who aren't Christians. It is those people who know better. It is a hypocrisy. They live two different lives. I am by no means claiming to be a perfect Christian because that is so far from the Truth. I am no longer going to sit back and allow people to corrupt the Christian Faith in my presence. The gossipping, foul mouths, and negativity about My Lord and Savior. I am going to only surround myself with people who are not Joy Robbers, people who walk what they talk and those that live a life glorifying God. I want to Shine for Him. I want people to see something in me that they want. I want them to have my peace! I want unbelievers to see that I can truly love them. There is no turning back now.
| Your Linguistic Profile: |
 70% General American English 15% Yankee 5% Dixie 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern |
her name. Last night when my hubby and I were laying in bed he was talking to my stomach and rubbing it. Every time He would say Gracie's name she would kick really hard. Like she was saying " here I am daddy". She did it like 6 times. He has felt little flutters here and there but these were full force kicks.
It is amazing how people will use someones blog to harass someone. The funny thing is that they are SOOOO stupid. They don't realize that a lot of people with blogs use a system called Sitemeter that will allow them to see the location of the people that read their blogs and to see how long they were on and what pages they viewed. They also fail to see that the times that they place anonymous comments match with their viewing times. If you have something to say to me at least have the guts to say it with your true identity.
Do you have God Parents for your Child and you are not Catholic? What does it mean to you? What do you do if the God parents are no longer active in the child's life or no longer Serving God?
I did manage to go back to sleep yesterday for a few hours. It was so weird. After reading my baby book I feel better. It is normal and I am starting to nest. I feel like I have to start getting everything ready. I still have so much to do but really need to take it easy with being a bed rest. Thank God it is modified and I don't have to literally stay in bed. I would go crazy.
Jim and I had a nice relaxing weekend. The kids went to stay with Dominic's Godmother since Friday. We were originally supposed to go out of town for a wedding but with the way I have been feeling and getting so tired and then with the bed rest we decided to just stay local. The price of gas out here helped us make that decision too. Friday night we dropped them off and then went to see the twins. We had a nice relaxing visit and then had Dairy Queen for Dinner LOL. We are bad I know. I had a banana split blizzard and it was awesome.
Saturday we did laundry and went looking for some shorts for me. It is just so hot and I need something cooler to wear. It is so hard to find plus size maternity clothes. I would buy plus size clothing but they fit so big everywhere else if I go up a size and I don't want to look sloppy. This way I can consign my clothes of sell them on eBay when I am done with them. I did find 3 pairs at the outlet mall by me. It was sad because I only had the energy to go into two stores. I hate that because I love to shop. I felt like such a party pooper to my husband.
Saturday night we went out to dinner with some friends that we have not been able to see in a long time. We had an awesome time. They treated us to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Ki's adoption and my pregnancy. It was yummy and nice a quiet with no children around.
Today we slept in until 10 and picked up the kiddos. They were a handful and a good form of birth control for a newly married couple. :) Their reaction when we came and got the kids was the same reaction we had when we dropped them off. I love my kids but sometimes you just need a break to refresh and recharge. I am so blessed to have people in my life that can see when we need help and they step forward.
Today the kids are definitely giving us a hard time. I guess they missed us. LOL Oh well this too shall pass. Guess who is going to bed early? We have a BBQ to go to tomorrow. I need to figure out what I am going to take.
I hope it isn't too hot.
I can't believe I have been up since 3:45 am. I just cannot sleep. I had to get up and clean the dishes I left in my sink and change the kids sheets. They are gone for two nights to give us a break and I still couldn't sleep. Could it be nesting already? This is the time I should have been sleeping. It just kept bothering me that I have so much to do. I know I am weird. Maybe it is my body preparing me for the lack of sleep that I am going to get.
I will be posting adoption pictures soon. Mine did not come out that great unfortunately. The ones that did have other people in them and I don't want to post them until I get permission. Today was a long tiring day. I should be sleeping right now but have a few things to do first. We went to a funeral today for my Father in Laws Wife's Father. He had passed away this week. I was happy we were able to be there to show them love and support.
Just thought I would give you all and update on baby Gracie. I went for a Dr.'s appointment and Ultrasound yesterday. I have been having a ton of pressure down on my left side and on my back. Guess I know why now. The little booger is already 2 lbs 10 ounces and loves to sit on my left side. She was beating the crap out of me with her feet and hands and then just in constant motion. She is a hyper child LOL.All the pressure I have been feeling was just that. The tech did an internal just to make sure my cervix was good and it was fine. My amniotic fluid is up thank goodness but my placenta is still low. Thank goodness it hasn't more closer to the cervix. I am still on a moderate bed rest and need to take it easy. Her heartbeat was nice and strong and my blood pressure was good. They took some blood to check my AIC and to see if I was anemic because of how tired I have been. I am now 4 pounds up from my pre-pregnancy weight. I am doing really good with the weight issue. I just hope I can keep it up for the next 2 months.
I am just anxiously waiting her arrival. I have so much to do to get ready.
The post you have all been waiting for. Kiarrah is Now officially one of us by name. She has always been one in our heart but now it is official. A dream has finally come true. Let me start off by saying that I couldn't sleep at all Thursday night. I was so afraid that we would wake up and someone would be too sick (Kiarrah and Reynaldo both have strep throat or a virus but are on antibotics) or that we would get a call that court was canceled. I just was so full of fear that something would make this day not happen.
Kiarrah woke up that morning announcing that "Today was her special Day". She kept asking who all was gonna be there and would get excited with each person we said. I was beyond amazed with the amount of support and love we received. We were accompanied by 15 additional people that were family and friends. The judge was amazed and said that was the most people she had ever seen come out for an adoption finalization. There is also 5 in our family so we filled the courtroom. She was brought to tears and I believe she felt the presence of God as we gathered together for this joyous event. It was different for her than most adoptions. Even our attorney was moved by it all. Kiarrah was quite the young lady answering the judges questions. Everyone awwed when she answered who she was sitting by when she said my mommy, daddy and my brothers. When Dominic was asked if he wanted a sister he said no. That just proved how much of a real family we are. Typical answer from a typical brother LOL. It was funny because they chose to ask my husband all the birthday and birth places questions that he just had no clue about. That brought much laughter in the courtroom. Finally the lawyer moved that she would present the answers and he could confirm. He was so nervous. I was so full of emotion that it was hard to hold back the tears. I just thought so much about how God put my family together the way he did. I thought a lot about how the birth mother would feel. It was such a roller coaster of emotion. We ended the session with pictures. I will be sure to post some later. We also saw so many of the Divisions employees that we have worked with throughout the years that joined us to celebrate. In a way this was the ideal location because it is where it all began those 8 years ago when we became foster parents. We had many visitations, and evals and appointments there. Now a final closure of the road of fostercare and adoption. We went out to eat to a DELICIOUS diner afterward with some people to celebrate. It was wonderful!!! She received many heartfelt gifts that she will treasure always.
We ended the evening with a houseful of people and cake and pizza(kiarrahs favorite food) I wish my family could have been out for this but I know that we were in their thoughts all day. It would have been the icing on the cake. Kiarrah was surround by those that love her and support our family. What more could we ask for. Thank you to all who were there. We love you all.
Well, We are off to the Dr. tomorrow am. The fevers just will not stay down. Kiarrahs was low grade all day and then tonight it started spiking again. Reynaldo's is super high and he has had two soaks in the tub to keep it down. I finally called the Dr. and she had me up the meds a little and told me to keep doing the bath thing if it doesn't get lower and to push fluids. Kiarrah has been thirsty but Rey hasn't. I just get so nervous when they are like this and it always happens when he is out of town. UGH. Please pray that we can get through the night with no trips to the ER and that I don't get whatever it is. They are not showing any signs of anything else bothering them except for headaches.
Anyone have any toothpicks to hold my eyes open? I am so tired. The Butterfly woke me up at 3 am crying that no one was cuddling with her. She came in my room and crawled in my bed where I was fully stretched out enjoying the fact that I had it all to myself. When I cuddled her close I realized that she was burning up with a fever. It was 102 under her arm. Started Motrin and couldn't get it to break until around 5. I have been alternating both Tylenol and Motrin for her. Rey then came in at 5 and was also burning up. Poor little guy has been sleeping in my bed all morning. He is miserable. All they have complained about is that their heads hurt. All I want to do is go to sleep but that is not possible with Ki being awake. Even when she is sick she is mischievous. She is alittle calmer though and easier to manage. I just pray it all leaves the house by tomorrow. Friday is the adoption and we will not miss it for the world.
This is one of the most beautiful Adoption Tribute slideshows I have ever viewed. This woman and family are just so amazing that I had to share. God Bless them. I am warning you ahead of time. You need tissues.
My husband has left for three days for an IT conference in PA. I am already feeling so overwhelmed. It is so hard to be with my kids alone. To top it off I am soooooooooo tired and just downright achy. I had a hard time sleeping last night. It didn't matter which side I slept on both hips just hurt and my lower back. Today I feel so crampy and just slow at moving. I ended up getting sick this am after having a brief reprieve from it for a few days. Oh well. Can you tell I am feeling down? The kids don't have school again today for some teacher in service day. I can't believe how many days these kids get off. No wonder they are in school until the end of June. I am going to try and be alittle productive today. I need to come up with some kind of menu for the little party after "the butterflies" adoption ceremony.
Best hit those recipe books.
What is one thing you want to accomplish in your life by the end of the summer?
I am pooped! What a jam packed weekend. That is not a complaint though. I just know I need to rest a little more than I actually did this weekend. I am paying for it today.
Friday I went to an awesome concert at my church that was done by our Worship Pastor and the Choir. My husband is in the choir. It was an amazingly uplifting evening of worship and fellowship. My kids were home snug in their beds with a babysitter keeping a watchful eye on them. Just the kind of night I needed. I went along with a friend and she was an awesome Date. Love ya Luz. Saturday I ran some errands after getting to sleep in until 9 am. We then had a BBQ with Our Pastors. I finally got to know them better on a more personal level and we had many laughs and fun.
Sunday!!! Mother's Day!!! Awww I am amazed at my husband and children. I am so lucky. They made me breakfast in bed! We went to church for a beautiful service and then I had my buddy, my pal over for another cookout. I guess we should actually call it a cook in. We got our grill but now need outdoor furniture so that we can actually eat outside.
My children made me all kinds of goodies at school and Sunday school. Dominic gave me so many kisses yesterday and kept telling me that he loved me. For the most part they even were pretty well behaved. That was all I wanted for Mother's Day.
All in all it was a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends. Just the way I like it.
Dearest Gracie,
I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to lose all of the contents of my stomach tonight after dinner. I do hope that you got the nutrition that you needed from my grilled Boca Burger, bean salad and Pickles. Maybe it was the pickles that threw you over the edge. UGH! I had hoped to get by today with out throwing up and fought it many times since this morning.
I would also like to thank you for the return of " my girls" I paid good money to have them removed 7 years ago and you are reminding me that my money was well spent ( along with the help of the insurance company too). It looks like it is time for me to purchase new " over the shoulder Boulder holders." I do hope after breastfeeding that they will shrink but not slink. I want them to be perky like they were before. Maybe I can use the bras as a hammock for you as you grow and I shrink.
The stretch marks are really lovely too. I mean I had my share of them from my fatness before and didn't think it was possible to get anymore. Boy was I wrong. I guess I will call them my badges of honor for being blessed with you.
I can't blame not seeing my feet on you because I couldn't see them before but this waddling is something new! Especially when trying to climb the stairs. Awww the many joys of pregnancy.
I do hope when you are born you realize how much I love you and even though I am complaining and miserable now it will all be worth it in the end.
Love, Mommy
Kiarrah in her favorite Shirt. It is so fitting for her personality
Strike a Pose.
Kiarrah and one of her Godmothers. They don't get to see each other often due to college but they love each other.
I have had a couple people email me that they want to be readers of my private blog. I just need you to send me your google email account address so that I can invite you. mademombygod@comcast.net. If you don't use a google account ( which is free btw) you will not be able to comment.
With Mother's Day approaching I am usually struck by such a sadness. Not for myself but for the birth mothers of my children. I guess it has hit me more this year because of carrying my little bundle in my womb right now. How do they feel on that day? Do they think of the child that was either taken away or given up? With Dom and Kiarrah the judge terminated rights after many years because both mothers were crack addicts and didn't want to ( or just couldn't bring themselves to) go through a drug rehab and detox. Neither child was the first born. It was history repeating itself many times. I can't imagine a mother not feeling something or wondering and missing their child. I sometimes wish I could have contact with them in someway and reassure them that their offspring was safe and doing well. Dominic's birthmother gave birth to him and left the hospital and was never seen again. Her need for the drug was so strong that she didn't look back. Kiarrah's mother fought for her but in all the wrong ways. With agression, a drugged up stupor and violence. She is extremely unstable and unable to take care of even herself. Rey's mom surrendered her rights because she felt he was better off with people who could provide for him. She too struggled with the Demon called Crack. She met us through foster care and named us as the people she wanted him to be with She had a deep love for her child and wanted what was best for him. I pray for each mother all of the time. Thank you for allowing me to be the Mother to your offspring.
I am so tired today. I slept over at the twins house because their parents went out of town. I can't believe my girls are already 13. I was their nanny for 8 years. I took the little butterfly with me and she loved all of the attention. They gave her a bath in their jacuzzi tub and she thought that was AWESOME! Especially when the bubbles from the shampoo started multiplying. We just spent a quiet evening at home after they completed all of their homework.
Rachel got out her stethoscope (a real one) and we all listened to Gracie's heartbeat. It was awesome. I wasn't certain at first if we would be able to hear it. They thought it was so neat.
I had a hard time sleeping. Kiarrah and I shared the bed in the guest room and she is such a bed hog and then I just couldn't get comfortable. Baby girl is laying low in the front of my stomach where it folds when you sit. It even feels weird walking up stairs.
Today I am going to veg and try to fit a nap in. Kiarrah was up so early. I am hoping she will lay down too. I have life group tonight so want to be refreshed. Not falling asleep. I have so much to do around here but hey God didn't do it all in one day, why should I :)
Yesterday when Rey came home from school he looks at me and says " So mom How was Gracie today? LOL. I said to him that she has been a little kicker. His response? GOOD!
He is so into her and can't wait for her arrival. I am so touched when he comes over to me and rubs my belly and kisses it. He always prays for her every night " Dear Jesus help Gracie and mommy to have sweet dreams. He is such a sensitive soul.
Have I mentioned lately that I am SO SICK OF THROWING UP!!!!! This morning sickness has got to go! I don't know how Bulimics can do it. I thought I was in the clear after not getting sick Saturday and Sunday morning but BAM yesterday morning and today I got hit. I shouldn't have even thought I was in the clear! Baby sweet potato has been very active lately at night. She likes to kick away. Can't wait for my next Ultrasound to see how big she has gotten.
Boy am I tired today but blessed. We had such a busy weekend. Friday we got our grill and planted some flowers. It was such a beautiful day. Saturday the kids had their classes at the Arts Academy and then we had some friends over for a mini cookout. We enjoyed a meal of brats, hot dogs, baked beans, and Homemade Macaroni Salad ( it was mighty yummy if I might say so myself). We topped it off with Strawberry Shortcake. It was a nice evening of fellowship with friends.
Sunday was an awesome service at church. I was so blessed by the message. It really encouraged me to get closer to God and to NOT make compromises. I will write more about all of that later. Jim went with our Senior Pastor to minister at another church so I was at service myself. I was blessed with many people that helped me with my kids. If any of you are reading this " Thank You". We had more friends over last night. I am really so happy that we moved where we did. We made sacrifices for this move but what we have gained far outweighs the losses.
Today I am hoping to get the house cleaned alittle and then have some down time. I need to spend sometime doing my devotions and need to try and fit in a nap.
I have friends from church that are in the final stages of becoming licensed foster parents here in New Jersey. If you get a chance can you stop over to Michele's Blog to say hi and to offer some encouragement? Thanks
We were walking to pick up the boys from School yesterday and Kiarrah had something in her shoe and says to me " Mommy I have something Spicy in my shoe". I think she meant to say Spiky.
I asked Kiarrah to go in the bathroom and get her spray for her hair so I could style it. She says " You mean the one that makes my hair perfect?
What another beautiful day outside. I am going to go buy some flowers and window boxes and do some planting. Kiarrah is very excited about the whole process. I will be sure to take some pictures. We need some sprucing up around here.
I can't believe that next week I will start my third trimester. It amazes me. Tonight I get to go to a baby shower for a friend from church. They do things alittle different around here. They invite the whole family. The theme is The Hundred Acre Woods. I can't wait until my baby shower. I have actually already registered for items at Target and Babies R Us.
I need to go buy some paint today also. We are going to start painting Kiarrahs room and them Rey and Gracie's. We are doing Kiarrahs Room in lavender on two walls and yellow on the other two. Rey and the sweet potato's room is going to be sage green. Dom has a neutral wallpaper on his room so we don't need to paint in there. I would like to have Jim paint a picket fence with flowers on Kiarrahs wall but I don't know when he would find the time. Maybe they have a Wally like that. I will have to look.
Enjoy your day everyone.
I just can't seem to get motivated today. It is gorgeous out but I have been stuck inside with morning sickness that doesn't seem to want to let up today. I am sooo tired too. Why? I had a good night sleep. I hit my 6 month mark yesterday and my stomach looks like a watermelon. It was funny because I wanted to sleep on my left side yesterday and Gracie wouldn't let me. She seemed to be all curled up on that side and it put too much pressure. I have been dealing with tingly and numb wrists and hands that past few days. They are especially bad after waking and if I have had them under my pillow at night.
This weekend we are going to get some window boxes and Kiarrah and I are going to plant some flowers. I would also like to plant some in the back yard. We are also going to finally get a grill tomorrow. I am looking forward to that. I love outdoor grilled food.
I have decided to start a new blog for some of my more innermost thoughts about things. This is an invite only blog. If you would like to be a part of this please email me privately mademombygod@comcast.net and let me know what your email address is so I can invite you. There are just some topics and thoughts I don't want broadcasted all over the web. I don't know who all my readers are. I will be still writing on this blog almost daily and that will be for more personal issues and my poems.
I have a new craving. Granny Smith apples. I just love the tartness. Kiarrah even wanted one because I have been eating all of them and she thinks she is missing out on something yummy. Think it will work if I started eating a lot of spinach?
Yesterday was such a busy day. My "worlds famous Soccer Player" Reynaldo woke up with his eyes swollen almost all the way shut. Poor guy was suffering from major allergies. I kept him home and took him to the Dr.'s for some much need meds. Give the kid a little Claritin, eye drops and nose spray and he is back to himself. Now we have to up the Asthma maintence meds. I guess it is that time of year again. Today is another appointment for him. I am beginning to hate visits to the Dr. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist. Gonna have to take Dom and Ki with me. Dom was not feeling well this morning but this is an important appointment that I have already had to reschedule once before. Got to keep that sugar under control and under the careful eye of the Dr.
I slept really well last night. Baby Gracie actually took it easy on my bladder for the night. I am ready to face my day.
I apologize for not posting this sooner. I so appreciate all of the emails and comments that you have sent my way. Believe me, the prayers have been felt and were heard. My amniotic fluid is on the rise. Still on the low normal range but better none the less. The Dr. just said to keep doing what I have been doing. At least it isn't hospital bed rest. I do have a new concern but I have come to the conclusion it will always be something. Gracie is after all the wonder baby. I have very low placenta that has to be closely monitored so that it doesn't turn into Placenta Previa. The Dr. is pretty certain that I will have a scheduled C-section and more than like have her a little early at 37-38 weeks. My blood pressure and sugar are in excellent condition and I am still 2 pounds under my pre pregnancy weight. Hopefully I will end up smaller than before after she is born. God knows I need to drop the weight.
Yesterday my husband arranged a babysitter and took me out to dinner to a very nice restaurant called the 3 Forty Grill to celebrate our 13th Wedding Anniversary. It was such a beautiful night and we sat outside to eat overlooking the NY skyline. We weren't sure where to go and eat but after this place came highly recommended to us we decided it was just what we were looking for. ROMANTIC but yet only 5 miles from home. For an appetizer we enjoyed a Mozzarella Tower which was piled with roasted portabella, sliced house mozzarella,red bell peppers, basil, extra virgin olive oil with grilled focaccia on the side. Even Mr. Anti mushrooms ate the portabella. For dinner I had an Asian Steak Caesar Salad that was made up of seasoned hanger steak, spicy cashews,crispy wontons, romaine lettuce and topped with a Caesar dressing. Jim had the special 3 Forty Burger which was a 10 oz char grilled burger topped with Wisconsin cheddar,hickory smoked bacon, brioche. Everything was so delicious. We ended our evening with coffee and we shared a dessert of Death By Chocolate Brownie which was a mouth watering chocolate explosion of ice cream,chocolate fudge, caramel and white chocolate shavings. Afterwards we walked along the water for awhile and talked. I still feel like I am walking on cloud nine. I even got the ultimate kiss while overlooking New York. :)
If you go go back and change one thing in your life what would it be and why?
I can't believe that my husband and I will be married 13 years tomorrow. Where has the time gone? I am so blessed with the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. He goes above and beyond and always makes me feel like a princess. To think 13 years ago tomorrow we were 23 and 25, nervously sharing our vows among family and friends. My husband had sang ( or should I say cried) the song " I will be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman to me.
Yesterday was such a nice relaxing and fun day. I went to a bridal shower for a young lady who used to be in our Young Adults ministry. I hesitated about going due to the bed rest but since I would basically be sitting, I decided to go. I took the "butterfly" with me and she had a blast. I will admit I was a bit nervous because it was at my old church. I was greeted with open arms and I felt loved. I didnt expect anything different but I get so anxious about things. I am so happy that I dealt with my feelings and emotions when I left the old church and didn't harbor any bitterness. I talked things out and resolved things. My family was sent off in love when we left despite our differences in opinions. Bitterness can eat away at you until you are just not a caring person anymore. It changes you. I have seen it happen so many times in my life and it can ruin a persons walk with the Lord. I am not gonna say I didn't have hurt feelings and I am not gonna say that I have super close relationships with everyone but I have learned and grown from it and feel closer to God due to it. My sister in law and husband have shared stories of churches being split and torn apart due to hatred and bitterness. The Bible speaks so strong about it. A few of the verses that I found in the Bible are
I know there are many more verses that speak on this but these stuck out to me.
It was so nice seeing everyone. I can't believe that Jessica is getting married. Her future extended family were so warm and loving and beautiful Christian people. She was blessed with some amazing gifts. Kiarrah was a hoot. She helped open everything and ran the bows and ribbons to Auntie Frances ( aka Hat Maker) At one point Jess was trying to open a delicate gift and told Ki that she would open it herself and Miss Bossy pants says to her " I have an idea, why don't we open it together" She is so persistent.
Needless to say we had fun. I won a game prize. I got a yummy grapefruit scented candle. I just so happen to be all out of candles so that was a little blessing.
I will try to post so pictures later.
I need to surround myself with Positive verses that are going to keep me focused in the right direction.
Dont really have the energy to blog today . I could just really use your prayers regarding Gracie. Had my echocardiogram today and now I am even more worried about my amniotic fluid. Her heart looks good but I have to go back because they can't seem to get good images. One of the major causes of that is low fluid. They wouldnt confirm if it was still low. I hate when they put all this fear and worry in you.
Could use some scripture verses to lift me up
Today was such a nice relaxing day. I really enjoyed the time I spent with the twins. I can't believe they are 13 already. Where has the time gone. I was their nanny for 8 years and I feel like a second mom to them. They are so excited about my pregnancy and told them they can come to one of my later ultrasound appointments if their mommy said it was alright. That gives them something big to look forward to this summer.
When I took the boys to school this morning Dominic looked at me and said " mommy you can be calm today". He said that after realizing that Kiarrah was going with daddy to work. Kiarrah had a great time and was very well behaved at Jim's work and got spoiled by everyone.
I came home after picking up the boys and I am so exhausted. I was very relaxed today and off of my feet for the most part but it still took its toll on me. The Dr.'s office called and they rescheduled my fluid check for Monday because the Dr is on vacation tomorrow. He wants to be there when it is done to assess what to do if the level is still low. I am trying really hard not to worry about it. I was just hoping to have an answer by tomorrow. I do have to go for part two of my Fetal Echo cardiogram tomorrow. At least that will be done and over with. Please pray that everything is ok. I know my sweet potato is a miracle baby. I just need to stop worrying and trust God.
I am actually child free today and it feels amazing. Kiarrah went to work with daddy for Take Your Child to Work Day. I am going to walk the boys to school and then meet some friends for coffee this am. Girl Time. I was then invited out to lunch with my favorite set of twins and their mom because they are on Spring Break this week. I could get used to this. I guess I am not totally child free. I do have this little sweet potato rolling around in my belly. LOL.
Yesterday Dominic had Terra Nova Testing at school and on Monday a note was sent up from the teachers just asking that your child goes to bed early and that they eat a good breakfast. Also it was important that they got to school on time for the testing. They had this kid so stressed that he woke up at 5:30 in the morning freaking out that he was going to be late and it was " such an important test and he can't miss any of it". I sent him back to bed and reassured him that we were not late and it was not yet time to get up. He proceeded to wake up every half hour freaking out. I reminded him that we are never late for school and he would be fine. He loves school so much. I hope he keeps that attitude.
It has been so beautiful here in Jersey lately. Unfortunately I think we have a cold front coming through again UGH!! I so needed these sunny days. My depressions seems to just linger on the rainy, gloomy days. As much as I hate the heat of summer I get more depressed in the winter. We have been enjoying being outside amongst neighbors and friends. It is so different from where I used to live. It doesn't matter when I go outside, I see people I know and they actually smile and say hi and talk to you. Who says all people in New Jersey are unfriendly? It is amazing that I have to go to an Urban area to find friendly people.
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