Sunday, August 06, 2006

Berry Good Time

After vetoing our plan to go to the beach due to mine and Jim's cold, we decided to go to a farm in Princeton to do some berry picking. We soaked up some sunrays as we picked Blueberries and Blackberries. I was really hoping for Raspberries but they were extremely scarce. Kiarrah was an excellent blueberry picker and got very excited when she saw large ones.
We also visited the store for corn and peaches.
The kids moods were not the best today and it was a bit frustrating dealing with them on the ride out there. We just didn't want to stay home. The three of them have been fighting like cats and dogs. When does school start? I am counting down the days.

Personality test

After reading Kari's post this morning I decided to try the personality test myself. I really wasn't shocked by my results. It even confirms my desire to be a nurse.
Life as an INFJ
(Introvert, Intuitive, Feeler, Judger)

People of this type tend to be: creative, original, and independent; thoughtful, warm, and sensitive; global thinkers with great passion for their unique vision; cautious, deliberate, and planful; organized, productive, and decisive; reserved and polite.

The most important thing to INFJs is their ideas, and being faithful to their vision.

When God Brings you to it, He will see you through it

When my husband and I decided to adopt our children, we had so many people ask us if we were sure we wanted to and could handle adopting children that had special needs. At the time of adoption, Dominic was evaluated and we knew what his needs were. We knew from the first day of having him in our home that he was to be our child. I always told people "How could we not adopt him?" When you give birth to a child, you don't always know if that child is going to be 100% healthy and problem free.
When Reynaldo started to show signs of some major issues after adoption, I didn't question adopting him. I think real love is blind to those issues. I knew we could get through it. I also knew he was the child for me. God had blessed us with children in his way. For a long time when I prayed I wanted God to fill my womb with a child. I was so adamantly against fostercare because I love children so much and would get very attached. I couldn't handle the disappointment if the child would have to leave to go back to family.
While walking down the the long road of infertility, I was assaulted with Foster care everywhere I went. I couldn't get away from it. It was in articles I read in magazines, in novels I read and in conversations with people I met. What was God trying to tell me. There was a need so great out there. God gently prepared us for the road less traveled. He had a plan for us and we didn't even know it yet. I remember one Sunday in church during that time when the Pastor spoke about how God answers our prayers but not always the way that we want them answered. It hit me that God was going to bless us with a child. We had decided to take the classes and get licensed and work with boarder babies.
We were taught that most of these children do have some kind of physical or emotional problems. We knew that early intervention was key and we needed to be an advocate for the children. I can't even fathom the life that these children would have had if they were not taken in and adopted. We took each child in and loved them with our whole heart. You can't be a good foster parent in my opinion if you don't give your whole heart. These children need to know that they are safe, that they can attach and know you are there, and need to know you love them. I remember when we got Reynaldo. This child was so floppy and like a rag doll. He didn't cry. It was like he had never attached to anyone. It broke my heart. We had been his fourth placement during the first 9 months of his life. I will never forget when he first cried and the look of surprise on his face when I answered his cry. From that moment on we bonded. He clung to me and loved attention. I poured it on thick because he needed it. It was almost like he was a sponge. He couldn't get enough love. As he has grown I can see how , not getting that love and attention and special bonding during his first nine months of life has affected him. I know he is better than he could be but I see how that lack of love has changed him. Through therapy I have learned that I can't go back and change that fact in his life. I can't make up for it. Only through Gods help can that time in his life be healed. He is loved and nurtured now and we have made a difference in his life. See God had a plan. When Rey starting showing signs of his BiPolar I will admit I was very upset and having a pity party. I was angry at God. I questioned him. I didn't feel like I could handle two children with special needs. I was overwhelmed and feeling scared. Family members asked me if I was sure I would be able to handle him. At first I got so angry at them for even saying that but looking back I saw that they were concerned for me and my health with my stress level. Only with God's help have I made it over that hurdle of self-doubt.
When we got Kiarrah and she showed signs of Major ADHD I knew that we were in for it. She is a very strong willed child. I knew then that we had reached our cap on kids. Maybe in a few years when my children are in school we will be able to open our home back up to another child. Right now we feel like we have reached our limit. My husband and I have been able to love them and raise them with their disablities because we have a partnership. The main reason we have the strength to do it is because we rely on our faith in God. He helps us. When God brings you to it. He will see you through it.