Sunday, May 06, 2012


I woke up with such a horrible panic attack and can't seem to go back to sleep. It seems to be an ongoing theme this week. I keep having nightmares all week and in them my youngest keeps running away from me and into the street. My chest just feels like it is going to explode. I hate feeling like this. I know that I am stressed out about moving and all the changes that are going to take place. I'm worried about how it is going to affect each of the kids. Reynaldo has already been acting out and I know it is because of the move. I just don't know how to make the transition easy for him when I myself am falling apart inside. I hate change myself. I hate feeling so out of control. I hate when I finally let my guard down and get comfortable and accept things everything has to change. There is just something so wrong with all of this.
I'm trying to find all of the positives in the move but it isn't helping. I hate the fact that we can't afford rent for a place that would be large enough for us in the Heights. Everything is way out of our budget. I know this is the place that God has for us but I am seriously going to miss this home. Just in a rough place right now.