Question of the Week?????

If you go go back and change one thing in your life what would it be and why?

13 Years

I can't believe that my husband and I will be married 13 years tomorrow. Where has the time gone? I am so blessed with the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. He goes above and beyond and always makes me feel like a princess. To think 13 years ago tomorrow we were 23 and 25, nervously sharing our vows among family and friends. My husband had sang ( or should I say cried) the song " I will be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman to me.

I Will Be Here(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here
I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here
Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here
I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here
I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me
Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

I thank God for Jim and for husband and father that he is. Pooh Bear, I will love you always and forever. Happy Anniversary! Also Happy Birthday to my Niece Elizabeth who shares this day with us. One of the best Anniversay Presents we could have gotten.

Here Comes the Bride

Yesterday was such a nice relaxing and fun day. I went to a bridal shower for a young lady who used to be in our Young Adults ministry. I hesitated about going due to the bed rest but since I would basically be sitting, I decided to go. I took the "butterfly" with me and she had a blast. I will admit I was a bit nervous because it was at my old church. I was greeted with open arms and I felt loved. I didnt expect anything different but I get so anxious about things. I am so happy that I dealt with my feelings and emotions when I left the old church and didn't harbor any bitterness. I talked things out and resolved things. My family was sent off in love when we left despite our differences in opinions. Bitterness can eat away at you until you are just not a caring person anymore. It changes you. I have seen it happen so many times in my life and it can ruin a persons walk with the Lord. I am not gonna say I didn't have hurt feelings and I am not gonna say that I have super close relationships with everyone but I have learned and grown from it and feel closer to God due to it. My sister in law and husband have shared stories of churches being split and torn apart due to hatred and bitterness. The Bible speaks so strong about it. A few of the verses that I found in the Bible are

• Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
• Ephesians 4:31-32Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you
• Matthew 7:1-5"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye
• Hebrews 12:14-15Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

I know there are many more verses that speak on this but these stuck out to me.

It was so nice seeing everyone. I can't believe that Jessica is getting married. Her future extended family were so warm and loving and beautiful Christian people. She was blessed with some amazing gifts. Kiarrah was a hoot. She helped open everything and ran the bows and ribbons to Auntie Frances ( aka Hat Maker) At one point Jess was trying to open a delicate gift and told Ki that she would open it herself and Miss Bossy pants says to her " I have an idea, why don't we open it together" She is so persistent.

Needless to say we had fun. I won a game prize. I got a yummy grapefruit scented candle. I just so happen to be all out of candles so that was a little blessing.

I will try to post so pictures later.

Verses To Mediate on

I need to surround myself with Positive verses that are going to keep me focused in the right direction.

1. Ephesians 1:17-23 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.
2. Hebrews 11:6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
3. 2 Chron 16:9For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
4. Jeremiah 33:3'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'
5. 1 Peter 5:7-9Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
6. Phil 4:6-10Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
7. Nehemiah 8:10This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
8. Psalm 91:1-2He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
9. Psalm 139:13-18You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous — how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
10. Isaiah 49:1Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth He has made mention of my name
11. Psalm 27:1The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
12. Psalm 31:24Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!
13. Psalm 46:1God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
14. Psalm 59:16But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
15. Psalm 105:4Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!
16. Psalms 43:5Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
17. " For I know the plans I have for you," saith the Lord, " plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29: 11

Prayers

Dont really have the energy to blog today . I could just really use your prayers regarding Gracie. Had my echocardiogram today and now I am even more worried about my amniotic fluid. Her heart looks good but I have to go back because they can't seem to get good images. One of the major causes of that is low fluid. They wouldnt confirm if it was still low. I hate when they put all this fear and worry in you.
Could use some scripture verses to lift me up

Day of Relaxing

Today was such a nice relaxing day. I really enjoyed the time I spent with the twins. I can't believe they are 13 already. Where has the time gone. I was their nanny for 8 years and I feel like a second mom to them. They are so excited about my pregnancy and told them they can come to one of my later ultrasound appointments if their mommy said it was alright. That gives them something big to look forward to this summer.
When I took the boys to school this morning Dominic looked at me and said " mommy you can be calm today". He said that after realizing that Kiarrah was going with daddy to work. Kiarrah had a great time and was very well behaved at Jim's work and got spoiled by everyone.
I came home after picking up the boys and I am so exhausted. I was very relaxed today and off of my feet for the most part but it still took its toll on me. The Dr.'s office called and they rescheduled my fluid check for Monday because the Dr is on vacation tomorrow. He wants to be there when it is done to assess what to do if the level is still low. I am trying really hard not to worry about it. I was just hoping to have an answer by tomorrow. I do have to go for part two of my Fetal Echo cardiogram tomorrow. At least that will be done and over with. Please pray that everything is ok. I know my sweet potato is a miracle baby. I just need to stop worrying and trust God.

Freedom

I am actually child free today and it feels amazing. Kiarrah went to work with daddy for Take Your Child to Work Day. I am going to walk the boys to school and then meet some friends for coffee this am. Girl Time. I was then invited out to lunch with my favorite set of twins and their mom because they are on Spring Break this week. I could get used to this. I guess I am not totally child free. I do have this little sweet potato rolling around in my belly. LOL.

Dominic Funny

Yesterday Dominic had Terra Nova Testing at school and on Monday a note was sent up from the teachers just asking that your child goes to bed early and that they eat a good breakfast. Also it was important that they got to school on time for the testing. They had this kid so stressed that he woke up at 5:30 in the morning freaking out that he was going to be late and it was " such an important test and he can't miss any of it". I sent him back to bed and reassured him that we were not late and it was not yet time to get up. He proceeded to wake up every half hour freaking out. I reminded him that we are never late for school and he would be fine. He loves school so much. I hope he keeps that attitude.

Jersey Folks unfriendly?

It has been so beautiful here in Jersey lately. Unfortunately I think we have a cold front coming through again UGH!! I so needed these sunny days. My depressions seems to just linger on the rainy, gloomy days. As much as I hate the heat of summer I get more depressed in the winter. We have been enjoying being outside amongst neighbors and friends. It is so different from where I used to live. It doesn't matter when I go outside, I see people I know and they actually smile and say hi and talk to you. Who says all people in New Jersey are unfriendly? It is amazing that I have to go to an Urban area to find friendly people.

China?

We have always used the proper names for body parts with the kids. Well tonight Kiarrah was in the shower after getting filthy outside and she was singing at the top of her lungs with our windows open " I am washing my China I am washing my China" I about died laughing although I didnt let her hear me laugh or I will never get the girl to stop.
I wonder what our neighbors thought.

"Fathers Love Letter"

" Father's Love Letter ''
Author Unknown

My Dear Child,
You may not know Me, but I know everything about you ..Psalm 139:1 I know when you sit down and when you rise ...Psalm 139:3 Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ...Matthew 10:29-31 For you were made in My image ...Genesis 1:27 In Me you live and move and have your being ..Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived ...Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation ...Ephesians 1:11-12 You were not a mistake ...Psalm 139:15-16 For all your days are written in My book ...Psalm 139:15-16 I determined the exact time of your birth and where you live ...Acts 17:26 You are fearfully and wonderfully made ...Psalm 139:15-16 I knit you together in your mother's womb ..Psalm 139:13 I brought you forth on the day you were born ...Psalm 71:6 I have been misrepresented by those who don't know Me ...John 8:41-44 I am not distant and angry, but I am the complete expression of love ...1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ..Matthew 7:11 For I am the perfect Father ...Matthew 5:48 Every good gift that you receive comes from My hand ...James 1:17 For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ...Matthew 6:31-33 My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ...Jeremiah 29:11 Because I love you with an everlasting love ..Jeremiah 31:3 My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ...Psalm 139:17-18 And I rejoice over you with singing ..Zephaniah 3:17 I will never stop doing good to you ...Jeremiah 32:40
For you're My treasured possession ...Exodus 19:5 I desire to establish you with all My heart and all My soul ...Jeremiah 32:41 And I want to show you great and marvelous things ...Jeremiah 33:3 If you seek Me with all your heart you will find Me ...Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart ..Psalm 37:4 For it is I who gave you those desires ...Philippians 2:13 I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ...Ephesians 3:20 For I am your greatest encourager ...2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 I am the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ...2 Corinthians 1:3-4 When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ...Psalm 34:18 As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ...Isaiah 40:11 One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ...Revelation 21:3-4 And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ...Revelation 21:4
I am your Father and I love you even as I love My son, Jesus ..John 17:23 For in Jesus My love for you is revealed ...John 17:26 He is the exact representation of My being ...Hebrews 1:3 And He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ...Romans 8:31 And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ...2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Jesus died that you and I could be reconciled ...2 Corinthians 5:18-19 His death was the ultimate expression of My love for you
...1 John 4:10 I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ....Romans 8:32 If you receive the gift of My son Jesus, you receive Me ..1 John 2:23 And nothing will separate you from My love again ..Romans 8:38-39 Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ..(Luke 51:7)
I have always been Father and will always be Father ..(Ephesians 3:14-15)
I will never give up on you ...(Philippians 1:6)
I am waiting for you ...(Luke 15:11-12)
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Question of the Week

What are some of the most important attributes you look for in your friendships?

22 Weeks

Everyone that has seen me says that I am glowing. I just wish I could stop throwing up. LOL. Yesterday at church I had someone come up to me and say God, your stomach is huge. I was like Gee thanks, just what I needed to hear when I already feel like a cow. My stomach is so hard. I weighed myself today and I am now back to my prepregnancy weight. Weigh less felt good while it last. I just pray that I can get this weight off after Gracie is born.

Shine Make them Wonder What you Got....

It seems like forever since I have posted. It has been a very crazy weekend for me. Friday I went to the Dr. for an Ultrasound and they feel my amniotic fluid is getting too low. So needless to say I have to increase my fluid intake ( water) and go on a modified bed rest. Keep my feet up as much as possible, don't lift anything heavy and get much more rest. Also reduce my stress level. Easier said then done with my gang of kiddos. They want me back in on Friday to see if the level has increased. I had to be a dummy and go read up stuff on it on the Internet and have myself worried. Too much info is not good for an anxious person like myself.

Saturday I got up slowly ( no throwing up Yea!!!) and took "the butterfly" to Ballet. Before I left my doorbell rang and it was a sweetie from church that came to help with anything I needed help with. She picked up my house for me and did some vacuuming. What a blessing. Jim has stepped up to the plate and is helping with as much as he can but it is a lot on him to do everything. I try to do what I can but know I have to take it easy. I don't want to end up on complete bed rest. I don't know how we would ever manage that.

After Ballet we took the kids down to the waterfront to eat our picnic lunch and then we drove around alittle checking out new areas since we are still new around here. We then headed to a park for the kids to ride their scooters and play on the playground. They had a blast. It was very relaxing and the weather was just so beautiful. We then looked for a Dairy Queen with no luck. It sounded so good. Our neighbor called us and invited us over for ice cream when she heard we were looking for a nice ice cream place. We spent the rest of the evening over there and grilled out. A beautiful night!

A Thought....

I have been thinking today about what the Autism Puzzle piece means. Many Autism Awareness and Support Organizations use the logo of a puzzle piece to signify how one piece of the autism puzzle is missing. It is a mystery. It is a very puzzling disability. You even see the puzzle pieces on the support ribbons. As much as I understand this and see this I also see the puzzle piece as signifying something else. I feel a lot of times society views all children as a puzzle piece that fits into the big picture. The problem is that the puzzle piece has to be shaped and cut out a certain way. If you are not that shape you don't fit in. When you are doing a puzzle you try to fit the pieces in and when they don't fit you put them to the side until maybe they will fit in later. I know we have come a long way in today's society compared to years ago but so many people are uneducated and lack understanding of today's children and the disabilities that have changed their "FORM".

Asperger's Syndrome

This is a video on ABC News that explains alittle more about
Asperger's Syndrome that my oldest son Dominic has. It has many challenges but I have to say that early intervention is key in helping a child with this cope. Dominic has gone through therapy for behavior and social skills. He would not be where he is today if I could have ignored it and acted like it wasn't an issue. We still have challenges with it but it is still better than it would be. I am alittle apprehensive about how the teen years will go with him. It can be an awkward stage in your atypical child but I think the challenges might be a little tougher for him socially.

Interesting Perspective on Education and Special Needs Children

This morning I read a very interesting and deep felt blog about Special Needs Children and Education. Since I have a lot of mommies that read my blog that are parents of special needs children I thought I would pass this blog on to you. Check out Bart's Blog

Question of the Week

I again forgot to post my weekly question of the week. This question is for all those scrapbookers out there. What is the one scrapbooking tool that you can't live without and why?

Rain Rain Go Away

What a rainy yucky day. We are getting hit by a pretty intense rainstorm. It is supposed to last for a few days. Kiarrah is home sick with a bad cold. She is miserable. The only positive thing when she is sick is the fact that she doesn't misbehave. She is usually on her best behavior. Dominic even allowed her to come into his room to play with him which is a rarity.
I have been pretty lazy. Not feeling so hot with this morning sickness. Baby girl must be dancing on my bladder too because I keep running to the bathroom. I am sure it doesn't help that I have been enjoying cups of hot tea this morning. It is just one of those days when I am chilled to the bone. My friend Desiree in Kansas had sent me a great assortment of teas to try and I had a hard time drinking any during my first trimester. I am just actually getting where I can enjoy the flavored ones. For a while I could only tolerate regular Decaf tea.
I think I am going to curl up with a good book. I just bought a book called Grace based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. So far it has grabbed my attention.

Frustrated

I am not sure what to do and welcome any advice you might have. My 7 1/2 year old has Aspergers and with that comes a delay in potty training skills. Night time has been his only issue. About a month ago he wanted to stop wearing pull ups at night because he felt he could stay dry like he had with the pull up. After a week of no accidents we proceeded to let him go without it. We started out ok with a few accidents here and there. I would tell him that he could wear a pull up if he wanted to and he would get very upset and not want to wear one. Who can blame him? Lately though it has been happening much more frequently. I do not have a washer and dryer and have to go to the laundry mat and it is hard to get there everyday to wash this bedding over and over again. I just don't know what to do. We have tried waking him up when we go to bed but sometimes he still ends up wetting the bed. I know this affects his self esteem and I don't want him to feel bad. He doesn't get in trouble for the accidents and we try not to make him feel bad. I just want to help him. Maybe there is a birth history of bed wetting. I have no clue.

Whine for the Day

Why is it that people do not obey the laws and put their children in car seats!!!! Or if they do have a car seat they do not use it appropriately. We have a law in place for a reason. Yes sometimes I do think it is crazy that my oldest son who is 7 has to be in a booster but they have a reason for it and I would rather think it is silly and have a child kept safe. Today when I was driving around i saw so many children just thrown in the back or FRONT of a car and not buckled in at all. Don't you care about the safety of your child? I see women on the passenger side of the car holding their babies while their husbands drive. It makes me livid. My kids have been informed that they are not allowed in someone elses vehicle without their car seats let alone a seat belt.

Therapeutic Nursery Program

I found a therapeutic nursery program here in the city and finally after a week they returned my call. After a long conversation with them they told me they would call me back later today today to let me know how long the wait list is for Ki to get into there program. We had a long conversation about how the behavior is different in a child who was born addicted to Crack Cocaine. I have to admit I knew most of what she had to say but it reassured me to know that it isn't from bad parenting skills on my part. I am not saying I am the best parent out there but your kids reflect you. When you have a defiant child so many people out in the public right away judge you and blame it on your parenting skills. Or they are quick to say that your child just needs a swift kick in the pants. They have no clue how the brain was messed up by the drugs or the alcohol that the parents decided to indulge in. Not thinking of the affect it has on their unborn child in utero.
When the woman called me back today they told me that because of Ki's history and the fact that she was in a therapeutic nursery before we left, they moved her name to the top of the list so that she can get back into therapy right away. Praise God. I should expect a phone call from them in the middle of next week.

Finally a Finalization Hearing Date

Finally we have a date for Kiarrahs adoption Finalization Hearing. May 18th will be the big day for our Family. We have been waiting for this day for years!!!!! You can bet that we will have a big party.

He is eating again

Finally Rey Rey is eating. I am so happy. I think it is all due to his new medicine. The Dr. Just added Seroquel to his menagerie of meds, which increases appetite. I am also seeing some improvement with his moods. He seems to be leveling out a little more. He still has his angry outbursts but they are shorter lived thank God. All I can do is pray that this will work. The problem with most meds for Bipolar is that they might work for a few years and then BAM they just stop working. I am just so elated to see him actually eat and it not be a battle.

Question of the Week

I can't believe that I almost forgot to post this for the week. Today my question is regarding adoption and birth parents. If you are an adopted parent and you have a child who wants to find their birth parents when they are a teenager how do you handle this? Do you support it? What if the parents are not the ideal role model you want the child to know? I woul love to hear different view points of this.

Being Obedient to God's Direction

I am so excited. We have some friends that go to our church who have decided to open their home up to foster care. This was a decision that they had prayed long and hard about when wanting more children. My husband and I were extremely touched when they mentioned that we had a lot to do with their interest in it. There is such a need for good Christian loving homes out there. These children need a home that is stable and where they can find unconditional love. What really impressed me is that it doesn't matter the race of the children they will accept. So many people are closed mind to that. I pray that God will bless them mightily for their obedience and faithfulness.

Little Gracie Update

Friday morning I went for a fetal echo cardiogram to check out Gracie's heart. Everything looked wonderful. The Dr. couldn't get crisp pictures like she wanted with the finer details because baby girl is sooo comfy laying down low over my bladder. She also wouldn't move so the Dr. could look from different views. She wanted to sleep. This explains all of the pressure I feel down there and on my lower back. I cant wait until I feel a Real kick. Right now it is just pressure and like flips. I have to go back at the end of the month for another one.

Abandonment Issues

While we were at church on Sunday I noticed Reynaldo was crying during worship service. He had been a little weepy the past few days because we are in the middle of switching his meds. When I asked him what was wrong he asked me if I will be his mommy forever even when he is grown up and has his own children. It made me cry because he was very upset and you could tell this was something he had been worrying about. I told him I would ALWAYS be his mommy and went on to explain how my mommy is still my mommy. I gave him a big hug and he seemed to feel better. This made me see that he really is having some abandonment issues. I didn't see how he could because we got him at nine months but we were also his fourth placement. He says to me sometimes that he misses his birth mom. He actually only met her a few times and never lived with her. I think it is the whole concept though. Like maybe a guilt thing that he feels like he should miss her. He has always been an emotional and deep feeling child. He will also say that he misses his sister. He has always been very clingy and attached to me and gets upset when I leave him. When I come back he hugs me hard and doesn't want to let go. He tells me he misses me so much. That is also why it is hard for him when he has people in his life and then he doesn't see them anymore. He feels like they don't love him anymore. This has happened several times and I just don't know how to help him with that. I have tried to explain it to other people but they just don't seem to get it or they just don't care. I can't protect him all his life but I can try my darnedest to not let people do that to him.

Spring Break

Today was the start of Spring break for the kiddos and my husband luckily had the day off to enjoy it with us. I appreciated the extra pair of hands too. LOL. We started our day by going to "the Butterfly's" lawyer's house to sign the adoption complaint. We had the paperwork overnighted to the clerks office and hopefully we can get on the judges docket in the next 30 days. I just want this to be all over. After that was through we drove to a park that had animals for the kids to see and they ran around the park for a few hours.The boys enjoyed playing catch with daddy and KiKi and mommy hit the swings and playground equipment. It was a bright sunny day but the air was crisp. We then were off to see Meet the Robinsons. It was a very cute movie and I loved how they dealt with the whole adoption theme. The kiddos were mesmerized during the movie and were so well behaved. We ended our busy day with a dinner date with my father in law and his wife. We had not seen them since Christmas which is ridiculous because we live in the same state. The kids were so happy to get to see them. The kiddos were so worn out from our day that they were asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows. It made for a nice quiet night for mommy and daddy.

Easter Sunday

On Easter Sunday we enjoyed a beautiful celebratory service at church. I have always loved Easter and just can't fathom how people can not realize the whole meaning and impact of the day. Do they not see how much Jesus Loves them that He laid down his life for us and our sins? I think what upsets me more is knowing that there are people out there that know Jesus and know what the Bible says but yet choose to walk away from it and act like it isn't true. Easter is such a Celebration of the fact that Christ Rose from the Dead after laying down his life for us. It is about newness and unconditional love. I now Easter is not all about the new fancy clothes but we love getting dressed up in new pretty dresses and shirts and vests etc. I love seeing all the new spring colors and dresses. I also love seeing kids dressed up on Sundays. Maybe it is the way I was raised. My mom and Dad bought the kiddos their new outfits for the day and I always get so excited to see what it will be. I think my mom enjoys doing the shopping too. Below are pictures of them in their Sunday best.

Day in Therapy

We spent the afternoon yesterday in our Child psychiatrists office for a hopefully successful visit. I always hate these appointments especially when we need to deal with medicine changes. Luckily I had a friend that could watch "the butterfly" while we went so I could actually talk to the Dr. We changed the dosage on one of D's meds because of the aggression he has been showing. He is a very much "got to be in control" kids. He was extremely bossy and mean to Little Rey at the office and she was quick to call him on it. He hated that and got very agitated with her for calling him on it. Luckily she got to see what was going on at home. When I asked her why he was acting like this she said that it is because of his Aspergers and she sees it in all of her patients who have it. I guess I didn't realize how the aggression was related. Reynaldo has been having such a hard time lately and Dominic's treatment of him doesn't help matters. He not only gets this from Dominic but also Kiarrah. After much discussion we decided to change Reynaldo's meds. Dr. B claims that Bipolar is always worst in the spring and after looking through Rey's file we found that he follows this same pattern. He might just need more medicine this time of year. The Dr. also strong suspects that Reynaldo suffers from many aspects on RAD ( Reactive attachment disorder) I need to do some reading on this. If any of my readers have some good book recommendations or webs sites regarding Rad It would be much appreciated. Sometimes it is just so heavy on me to take in. I just want my little boy to be happy and regulated. I am going to start the new medicine on Friday when spring break starts so that we can monitor him. Luckily the insurance covered our second option. They have gotten ridiculous about what meds they will cover. This is not a one drug fits all society. It is especially harder I think when you are dealing with a child with Bipolar. The other thing that is a struggle is the fact that Rey also has ADHD and doesn't sit still in school. He doesn't do well on stimulates that would control this. They send him into major cycling. I would much rather have a child that is happy and who can control his moods. The school is just going to have to deal with it. We need to seriously look into our options for next year. I have actually seriously considered homeschooling him next year. That will only be possible if I can get Kiarrah into a school next year full time. I couldn't do it with her home. Reynaldo and I work good one on one but not with her around. I will do whatever I have to do for him. He is my baby boy. It would be that way with any of them. The other issue that I need to take care of for him is getting him into counseling. There seems to be a wait list everywhere.

Clothing Switch.

I can't believe we are actually getting some light flurries today. On the way to school Dominic asked me how it can snow when it isn't even winter anymore. He was perturbed. I have spent the past few days sorting through spring and summer clothes and taking inventory. I started packing up heavy winter items for storage. Thank goodness I have left some sweaters out. You never know what the weather is going to be like in Jersey anymore.
I hate the task of switching clothing. While going through mine I was happy to see that I tend to buy a lot of my clothes on the bigger side so I will have some stuff to cover my growing belly. Looks like I will just need shorts and Capri's.
I hope it is alittle warmer on Easter. I have a short sleeve dress that I want to wear but don't have a cardigan sweater to match it.
Mema bought the kids new outfits to wear for Easter Sunday. Be on the lookout for pictures.

I ran away from Home

Ever have one of those days when you just can't take it anymore and want to run away and not look back? I don't know what is going on with my children but they have been driving me to the brink of a breakdown. They have been very disrespectful and defiant. Especially "little miss butterfly." For some reason she thinks she is the boss and needs to tell me what to do. She completely ignores me when I ask her to do something. The boys have been fighting roughly and throw stupid tantrums. Dominic has given Reynaldo two bloody noses this week from playing too rough. I have tried every form of discipline and nothing is working. I have to keep in mind that these are not your atypical children and they are wired different but that doesn't mean I should look the other way when they act this way. They are in need of some major boot camp structure with some STRICT rules! That is all in the works right now. I know for a fact they do much better when things are consistent and structured. People seem to look at me strange when I am so structured and strict but they are not the parents of my kids. They don't know their needs and issues. I need to stop caring what others think and do what is best for my babies. After an emotional phone call with my husband about feeling so overwhelmed and stressed out it was much decided that I needed to leave when my husband got home and spend the evening out. Knowing how moody I have been lately and grumpy, I really did not want to be around anyone. After a suggestion from a friend I went and walked around some stores and decided to go see a movie. I have never gone to a movie by myself but I have to admit I liked it even though it felt weird. I was actually the only one in the theatre. I left feeling very destressed and ready to face the challenge of being Super Preggo Momma. I am sure baby Gracie was relieved to have quiet time in the womb away from all the Drama.

Update on Baby Sweet Potato

Just an update on my pregnancy. Gracie is still a girl. I was so afraid that she would have grown a penis or something this past month since my last ultrasound. I am still miserable and achy. I know I complain too much. I just have always heard women say, Oh I just love being pregnant!! I love the fact that I have another human being that is flesh of my flesh and of my husband but I hurt and am sick and moody etc. How could you like being like this all the time? Just like women say "I miss being pregnant" Whats to miss? Maybe my mind will change closer to the end.
I feel like I am walking around like a granny. Geez what will I be like at 8 or 9 months? Anyway. Things are still progressing nicely. Gracie is now 11 ounces and looks really good. She is an active little booger. Likes to move those arms and legs around. I am still only feeling flutters and pressure on my lower abdomen but she moves like crazy during Ultrasounds. I will have to post some of her first pictures. She wasn't as photogenic this time around.

Question of the Week

I personally am planning to breast feed my baby when she is born, if I am able. I don't know if this will be possible due to having a breast reduction surgery about 6 years ago. The Dr. said I wouldnt know until I tried. I have noticed though through stuff I have read online and in magazines that a lot of the population is against this. I would love to have a healthy conversation about why Breast feeding is great and any tips you might have and also why people are so against it.

Pierogi

Pierogi are semi-circular dumplings of unleavened dough stuffed with cheese, sauerkraut,onions or potatoes.I personally love them with Farmers or Dry cottage cheese in them.
It has been a family tradition of ours that my grandmother and mother make our families secret recipe pierogi every Spring and we enjoy them during lent. This year my mom taught my sisters how to make them. I unfortunately live to far away to partake in this joyous event and I was quite sad because I have a love for them. If you have had the box type that is sold in the grocery store you have no clue what you are missing out in. There is nothing like a nice pierogi with a lot of butter and onions on it fried up in a pan. Not exactly a weight watchers legal but hey you have to live alittle once in awhile.
I decided this morning that I was going to attempt to make them myself. I had made them once before but had trouble shaping them. Today after a few phone calls to grandma, I achieved my goal and they came beautifully. I must say they were delicious also. I was sure to fry one up right then and there. My two littlest kids have decided they don't like them. Oh Well, more for daddy and mommy. The wonderful thing is, the freeze up beautifully.
I think my next challenge is going to be Golumpki.