I have had a couple people email me that they want to be readers of my private blog. I just need you to send me your google email account address so that I can invite you. mademombygod@comcast.net. If you don't use a google account ( which is free btw) you will not be able to comment.
With Mother's Day approaching I am usually struck by such a sadness. Not for myself but for the birth mothers of my children. I guess it has hit me more this year because of carrying my little bundle in my womb right now. How do they feel on that day? Do they think of the child that was either taken away or given up? With Dom and Kiarrah the judge terminated rights after many years because both mothers were crack addicts and didn't want to ( or just couldn't bring themselves to) go through a drug rehab and detox. Neither child was the first born. It was history repeating itself many times. I can't imagine a mother not feeling something or wondering and missing their child. I sometimes wish I could have contact with them in someway and reassure them that their offspring was safe and doing well. Dominic's birthmother gave birth to him and left the hospital and was never seen again. Her need for the drug was so strong that she didn't look back. Kiarrah's mother fought for her but in all the wrong ways. With agression, a drugged up stupor and violence. She is extremely unstable and unable to take care of even herself. Rey's mom surrendered her rights because she felt he was better off with people who could provide for him. She too struggled with the Demon called Crack. She met us through foster care and named us as the people she wanted him to be with She had a deep love for her child and wanted what was best for him. I pray for each mother all of the time. Thank you for allowing me to be the Mother to your offspring.
I am so tired today. I slept over at the twins house because their parents went out of town. I can't believe my girls are already 13. I was their nanny for 8 years. I took the little butterfly with me and she loved all of the attention. They gave her a bath in their jacuzzi tub and she thought that was AWESOME! Especially when the bubbles from the shampoo started multiplying. We just spent a quiet evening at home after they completed all of their homework.
Rachel got out her stethoscope (a real one) and we all listened to Gracie's heartbeat. It was awesome. I wasn't certain at first if we would be able to hear it. They thought it was so neat.
I had a hard time sleeping. Kiarrah and I shared the bed in the guest room and she is such a bed hog and then I just couldn't get comfortable. Baby girl is laying low in the front of my stomach where it folds when you sit. It even feels weird walking up stairs.
Today I am going to veg and try to fit a nap in. Kiarrah was up so early. I am hoping she will lay down too. I have life group tonight so want to be refreshed. Not falling asleep. I have so much to do around here but hey God didn't do it all in one day, why should I :)
Yesterday when Rey came home from school he looks at me and says " So mom How was Gracie today? LOL. I said to him that she has been a little kicker. His response? GOOD!
He is so into her and can't wait for her arrival. I am so touched when he comes over to me and rubs my belly and kisses it. He always prays for her every night " Dear Jesus help Gracie and mommy to have sweet dreams. He is such a sensitive soul.
Have I mentioned lately that I am SO SICK OF THROWING UP!!!!! This morning sickness has got to go! I don't know how Bulimics can do it. I thought I was in the clear after not getting sick Saturday and Sunday morning but BAM yesterday morning and today I got hit. I shouldn't have even thought I was in the clear! Baby sweet potato has been very active lately at night. She likes to kick away. Can't wait for my next Ultrasound to see how big she has gotten.
Boy am I tired today but blessed. We had such a busy weekend. Friday we got our grill and planted some flowers. It was such a beautiful day. Saturday the kids had their classes at the Arts Academy and then we had some friends over for a mini cookout. We enjoyed a meal of brats, hot dogs, baked beans, and Homemade Macaroni Salad ( it was mighty yummy if I might say so myself). We topped it off with Strawberry Shortcake. It was a nice evening of fellowship with friends.
Sunday was an awesome service at church. I was so blessed by the message. It really encouraged me to get closer to God and to NOT make compromises. I will write more about all of that later. Jim went with our Senior Pastor to minister at another church so I was at service myself. I was blessed with many people that helped me with my kids. If any of you are reading this " Thank You". We had more friends over last night. I am really so happy that we moved where we did. We made sacrifices for this move but what we have gained far outweighs the losses.
Today I am hoping to get the house cleaned alittle and then have some down time. I need to spend sometime doing my devotions and need to try and fit in a nap.
I have friends from church that are in the final stages of becoming licensed foster parents here in New Jersey. If you get a chance can you stop over to Michele's Blog to say hi and to offer some encouragement? Thanks
We were walking to pick up the boys from School yesterday and Kiarrah had something in her shoe and says to me " Mommy I have something Spicy in my shoe". I think she meant to say Spiky.
I asked Kiarrah to go in the bathroom and get her spray for her hair so I could style it. She says " You mean the one that makes my hair perfect?
What another beautiful day outside. I am going to go buy some flowers and window boxes and do some planting. Kiarrah is very excited about the whole process. I will be sure to take some pictures. We need some sprucing up around here.
I can't believe that next week I will start my third trimester. It amazes me. Tonight I get to go to a baby shower for a friend from church. They do things alittle different around here. They invite the whole family. The theme is The Hundred Acre Woods. I can't wait until my baby shower. I have actually already registered for items at Target and Babies R Us.
I need to go buy some paint today also. We are going to start painting Kiarrahs room and them Rey and Gracie's. We are doing Kiarrahs Room in lavender on two walls and yellow on the other two. Rey and the sweet potato's room is going to be sage green. Dom has a neutral wallpaper on his room so we don't need to paint in there. I would like to have Jim paint a picket fence with flowers on Kiarrahs wall but I don't know when he would find the time. Maybe they have a Wally like that. I will have to look.
Enjoy your day everyone.
I just can't seem to get motivated today. It is gorgeous out but I have been stuck inside with morning sickness that doesn't seem to want to let up today. I am sooo tired too. Why? I had a good night sleep. I hit my 6 month mark yesterday and my stomach looks like a watermelon. It was funny because I wanted to sleep on my left side yesterday and Gracie wouldn't let me. She seemed to be all curled up on that side and it put too much pressure. I have been dealing with tingly and numb wrists and hands that past few days. They are especially bad after waking and if I have had them under my pillow at night.
This weekend we are going to get some window boxes and Kiarrah and I are going to plant some flowers. I would also like to plant some in the back yard. We are also going to finally get a grill tomorrow. I am looking forward to that. I love outdoor grilled food.
I have decided to start a new blog for some of my more innermost thoughts about things. This is an invite only blog. If you would like to be a part of this please email me privately mademombygod@comcast.net and let me know what your email address is so I can invite you. There are just some topics and thoughts I don't want broadcasted all over the web. I don't know who all my readers are. I will be still writing on this blog almost daily and that will be for more personal issues and my poems.
I have a new craving. Granny Smith apples. I just love the tartness. Kiarrah even wanted one because I have been eating all of them and she thinks she is missing out on something yummy. Think it will work if I started eating a lot of spinach?
Yesterday was such a busy day. My "worlds famous Soccer Player" Reynaldo woke up with his eyes swollen almost all the way shut. Poor guy was suffering from major allergies. I kept him home and took him to the Dr.'s for some much need meds. Give the kid a little Claritin, eye drops and nose spray and he is back to himself. Now we have to up the Asthma maintence meds. I guess it is that time of year again. Today is another appointment for him. I am beginning to hate visits to the Dr. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist. Gonna have to take Dom and Ki with me. Dom was not feeling well this morning but this is an important appointment that I have already had to reschedule once before. Got to keep that sugar under control and under the careful eye of the Dr.
I slept really well last night. Baby Gracie actually took it easy on my bladder for the night. I am ready to face my day.
I apologize for not posting this sooner. I so appreciate all of the emails and comments that you have sent my way. Believe me, the prayers have been felt and were heard. My amniotic fluid is on the rise. Still on the low normal range but better none the less. The Dr. just said to keep doing what I have been doing. At least it isn't hospital bed rest. I do have a new concern but I have come to the conclusion it will always be something. Gracie is after all the wonder baby. I have very low placenta that has to be closely monitored so that it doesn't turn into Placenta Previa. The Dr. is pretty certain that I will have a scheduled C-section and more than like have her a little early at 37-38 weeks. My blood pressure and sugar are in excellent condition and I am still 2 pounds under my pre pregnancy weight. Hopefully I will end up smaller than before after she is born. God knows I need to drop the weight.
Yesterday my husband arranged a babysitter and took me out to dinner to a very nice restaurant called the 3 Forty Grill to celebrate our 13th Wedding Anniversary. It was such a beautiful night and we sat outside to eat overlooking the NY skyline. We weren't sure where to go and eat but after this place came highly recommended to us we decided it was just what we were looking for. ROMANTIC but yet only 5 miles from home. For an appetizer we enjoyed a Mozzarella Tower which was piled with roasted portabella, sliced house mozzarella,red bell peppers, basil, extra virgin olive oil with grilled focaccia on the side. Even Mr. Anti mushrooms ate the portabella. For dinner I had an Asian Steak Caesar Salad that was made up of seasoned hanger steak, spicy cashews,crispy wontons, romaine lettuce and topped with a Caesar dressing. Jim had the special 3 Forty Burger which was a 10 oz char grilled burger topped with Wisconsin cheddar,hickory smoked bacon, brioche. Everything was so delicious. We ended our evening with coffee and we shared a dessert of Death By Chocolate Brownie which was a mouth watering chocolate explosion of ice cream,chocolate fudge, caramel and white chocolate shavings. Afterwards we walked along the water for awhile and talked. I still feel like I am walking on cloud nine. I even got the ultimate kiss while overlooking New York. :)
If you go go back and change one thing in your life what would it be and why?
I can't believe that my husband and I will be married 13 years tomorrow. Where has the time gone? I am so blessed with the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. He goes above and beyond and always makes me feel like a princess. To think 13 years ago tomorrow we were 23 and 25, nervously sharing our vows among family and friends. My husband had sang ( or should I say cried) the song " I will be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman to me.
Yesterday was such a nice relaxing and fun day. I went to a bridal shower for a young lady who used to be in our Young Adults ministry. I hesitated about going due to the bed rest but since I would basically be sitting, I decided to go. I took the "butterfly" with me and she had a blast. I will admit I was a bit nervous because it was at my old church. I was greeted with open arms and I felt loved. I didnt expect anything different but I get so anxious about things. I am so happy that I dealt with my feelings and emotions when I left the old church and didn't harbor any bitterness. I talked things out and resolved things. My family was sent off in love when we left despite our differences in opinions. Bitterness can eat away at you until you are just not a caring person anymore. It changes you. I have seen it happen so many times in my life and it can ruin a persons walk with the Lord. I am not gonna say I didn't have hurt feelings and I am not gonna say that I have super close relationships with everyone but I have learned and grown from it and feel closer to God due to it. My sister in law and husband have shared stories of churches being split and torn apart due to hatred and bitterness. The Bible speaks so strong about it. A few of the verses that I found in the Bible are
I know there are many more verses that speak on this but these stuck out to me.
It was so nice seeing everyone. I can't believe that Jessica is getting married. Her future extended family were so warm and loving and beautiful Christian people. She was blessed with some amazing gifts. Kiarrah was a hoot. She helped open everything and ran the bows and ribbons to Auntie Frances ( aka Hat Maker) At one point Jess was trying to open a delicate gift and told Ki that she would open it herself and Miss Bossy pants says to her " I have an idea, why don't we open it together" She is so persistent.
Needless to say we had fun. I won a game prize. I got a yummy grapefruit scented candle. I just so happen to be all out of candles so that was a little blessing.
I will try to post so pictures later.
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