I hate Racism

You know, Some people just really irritate me. I took the kids to the park after church on Sunday to get all their hyperness out. While there the boys were playing with two other little boys, one of which was very aggressive. All of the boys were playing rough. One of them kept throwing the mulch at Dominic and he was getting very angry. Dominic started throwing stuff back at him and then Reynaldo stepped in because no matter how much Dom and him fight, Rey is very loyal and hates to see others being picked on. He decided to shove the boy. THEY WERE ALL GUILTY AS CHARGED. I headed over in that direction to intervene. ( I usually try to let the boys work things out on their own until it gets out of control)The mother of the other boys gets there first and starts yelling at MY children. I froze. I didn't even know what to do because she had a very strong attitude. I proceeded to pull the boys away from her and apologized and said that all of them were out of control and they need to keep their hands to themselves and stop throwing stuff. She gives me a dirty look when we walk away.
I proceeded to put the boys in a time out because of what they did. When I let them go play Dominic decided to go play ball with two little Polish kids. He was having a blast and my other two children were playing on the jungle gym.
The mother of the two boys from earlier comes over to me and says REALLY Loud with Attitude ( head bobbling finger waving) "You see your boy over there? You need to tell him to come back here on the equipment. Someone could take him. You need to watch him". I was shocked. First of all, He was close by. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am very overprotective of my kids and can be very neurotic while out in public with them. They have to be right by me. I know the dangers that lurk out there and I deal with anxiety daily over something happening to them. Dominic was not in any danger, He was close by, there were a lot of kids playing over there. After she said this to me she went back to her table of friends and proceeded to talk all loud and look at me. I didn't make Dominic come over to me. In fact the woman I was speaking to prior to her announcement rolled her eyes and was like " What's her problem?" Here is where the racism comes in. I am white, my kids are black and Hispanic and she was black. She obviously has a problem with me and my children. Why did she only say something to me about my child? Why didn't she go to the other parents whose children were farther away? She accomplished what she wanted. She upset me and it has bothered me for days. Why are people like this?

Peaceful Day

The kids and I had a pretty enjoyable day today. Kiarrah went to her program this morning and then the boys and I met her there for a visit with the psychiatrist. He went fairly well. He decided to add a medicine to help her sleep at night. She is always so wired in the evenings. It is like she held her hyperactivity in all day and needed to just let it all out at night. So she is hyper all evening and can't relax to fall asleep. After that, we went and say the movie Barnyard. We all really enjoyed it.Kiarrah decided that she wants a Branyard. Do I have a little farm girl on my hands? I met my friend Dawn and her daughter afterwards at the mall and we had an early dinner followed by a trip to the park that didn't last long due to RAIN!!! I could barely see the road coming home. All in all a pretty decent day with only a few battles of the Wills. Kiarrah threw a tantrum at bedtime with her usually " I hate my room, I hate my bed, I wanna sleep in your bed mommy. Needless to say she is sleeping on the floor in the boys nice and cool room. We have another storm coming through and I had to shut all the windows.

Blessings

" Those who have had the easiest of lives, have missed the Greatest of God's Blessings"
Charles Stanley

I heard this quote on the radio the other night and it really struck a cord with me.

Yes, God Does Plan Adoptions

I recently got a response to my post When God brings you to it, He will see you through it that really saddened me. The women felt that I was wrong in saying that God plans adoptions. In fact she finds it offensive when people say that. She compared saying that to saying God plans Rapes, Fires, murders, floods, dieases, cancers and many other horrible things. If you look at the top of my blog you will see that I have the verse Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Unforunately Bad things happen around us all the time. I don't beleive that God causes these things to happen whether it be something personal in our life like an illness or something devastating like 9-11. Man kind insists on self- destruction . "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder,adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander". (Matthew 15:19) God might allow us to go through things. I feel that sometimes He allows these things so that we might see the true evilness of man. He wants us to change. He wants us to turn towards him and follow him. I beleive that there are a lot of things that God does protect us from that we never know about.
I do not place Adoption in the same category as a natural disaster as the writer of the comment did. I feel that my husband and I were used to bring my children out of their circumstances just like many other adoptive parents. God sees the big picture and knew the children I would adopt. As far as parents who must give up their children, no , it is not God's desire for them not to handle the task, but if they are not able to handle the task, someone else has to be raised up. God doesn't want us to go through the hurts. In fact in the beginning we were made perfect by God but our own desires and curiousity takes things in a different direction.
I praise God for the fact that some people have the discerment to recognize that they need to place their children elsewhere. I met the B mom of my middle son. She loved her son with her whole heart but was just not able to care for him and provide him with a safe and healthy home environment. She loved him so much that she did an identified surrender. She wanted us to adopt him. She knew we were a Christian home and wanted him with us. I know she felt pain to let him go but her child's deliverance was a gift. " All good and perfect gifts are from above" I don't feel that God's Plan was for that baby to be for us when he was placed in her womb but God knew that she would have a choice and knew this child would be adopted.
The author of the comment uses the word blame. Offering thanks and blaming are two different things. God is a Sovereign God but yet he doesn't force us to do as He wants us to do. We have that Free Will.
So Yes I do think God had a big part in adoption of my children. Look at all the children in the world that are orphans. Is this all part of God's perfect will? There are too many children in this world that are without families that just float around in the foster system. I know that there are people in this world that are going to choose the route of adoption. We are all given a free will to choose which path in life we are going to take. God knew I would be faced with infertility and He had another plan for my life. With his prodding I was able to see what He had planned for my family. He sees the big picture and has my whole life planned out. I give Him all the Praise and Glory.

Tea Time

I have a huge smile on my face. I received a wonderful surprise in the mail today. One of my best friends decided to surprise me with a box of assorted teas, a mug , tea bag plate and other accessories. She is too good to me and I am blessed to know her. The tea will really come in handy because of my cold. I am off to fix myself a nice cup of mango tea.

PCO's

I am so sick of my PCO's. Why do I have to lose hair on my head but have hair grow on my chin.?It is so darn frustrating. Why do I have to struggle so hard to drop some weight? It seems like everything is against me sometimes.

Berry Good Time

After vetoing our plan to go to the beach due to mine and Jim's cold, we decided to go to a farm in Princeton to do some berry picking. We soaked up some sunrays as we picked Blueberries and Blackberries. I was really hoping for Raspberries but they were extremely scarce. Kiarrah was an excellent blueberry picker and got very excited when she saw large ones.
We also visited the store for corn and peaches.
The kids moods were not the best today and it was a bit frustrating dealing with them on the ride out there. We just didn't want to stay home. The three of them have been fighting like cats and dogs. When does school start? I am counting down the days.

Personality test

After reading Kari's post this morning I decided to try the personality test myself. I really wasn't shocked by my results. It even confirms my desire to be a nurse.
Life as an INFJ
(Introvert, Intuitive, Feeler, Judger)

People of this type tend to be: creative, original, and independent; thoughtful, warm, and sensitive; global thinkers with great passion for their unique vision; cautious, deliberate, and planful; organized, productive, and decisive; reserved and polite.

The most important thing to INFJs is their ideas, and being faithful to their vision.

When God Brings you to it, He will see you through it

When my husband and I decided to adopt our children, we had so many people ask us if we were sure we wanted to and could handle adopting children that had special needs. At the time of adoption, Dominic was evaluated and we knew what his needs were. We knew from the first day of having him in our home that he was to be our child. I always told people "How could we not adopt him?" When you give birth to a child, you don't always know if that child is going to be 100% healthy and problem free.
When Reynaldo started to show signs of some major issues after adoption, I didn't question adopting him. I think real love is blind to those issues. I knew we could get through it. I also knew he was the child for me. God had blessed us with children in his way. For a long time when I prayed I wanted God to fill my womb with a child. I was so adamantly against fostercare because I love children so much and would get very attached. I couldn't handle the disappointment if the child would have to leave to go back to family.
While walking down the the long road of infertility, I was assaulted with Foster care everywhere I went. I couldn't get away from it. It was in articles I read in magazines, in novels I read and in conversations with people I met. What was God trying to tell me. There was a need so great out there. God gently prepared us for the road less traveled. He had a plan for us and we didn't even know it yet. I remember one Sunday in church during that time when the Pastor spoke about how God answers our prayers but not always the way that we want them answered. It hit me that God was going to bless us with a child. We had decided to take the classes and get licensed and work with boarder babies.
We were taught that most of these children do have some kind of physical or emotional problems. We knew that early intervention was key and we needed to be an advocate for the children. I can't even fathom the life that these children would have had if they were not taken in and adopted. We took each child in and loved them with our whole heart. You can't be a good foster parent in my opinion if you don't give your whole heart. These children need to know that they are safe, that they can attach and know you are there, and need to know you love them. I remember when we got Reynaldo. This child was so floppy and like a rag doll. He didn't cry. It was like he had never attached to anyone. It broke my heart. We had been his fourth placement during the first 9 months of his life. I will never forget when he first cried and the look of surprise on his face when I answered his cry. From that moment on we bonded. He clung to me and loved attention. I poured it on thick because he needed it. It was almost like he was a sponge. He couldn't get enough love. As he has grown I can see how , not getting that love and attention and special bonding during his first nine months of life has affected him. I know he is better than he could be but I see how that lack of love has changed him. Through therapy I have learned that I can't go back and change that fact in his life. I can't make up for it. Only through Gods help can that time in his life be healed. He is loved and nurtured now and we have made a difference in his life. See God had a plan. When Rey starting showing signs of his BiPolar I will admit I was very upset and having a pity party. I was angry at God. I questioned him. I didn't feel like I could handle two children with special needs. I was overwhelmed and feeling scared. Family members asked me if I was sure I would be able to handle him. At first I got so angry at them for even saying that but looking back I saw that they were concerned for me and my health with my stress level. Only with God's help have I made it over that hurdle of self-doubt.
When we got Kiarrah and she showed signs of Major ADHD I knew that we were in for it. She is a very strong willed child. I knew then that we had reached our cap on kids. Maybe in a few years when my children are in school we will be able to open our home back up to another child. Right now we feel like we have reached our limit. My husband and I have been able to love them and raise them with their disablities because we have a partnership. The main reason we have the strength to do it is because we rely on our faith in God. He helps us. When God brings you to it. He will see you through it.

Ravenous

My 5 year old is really driving me crazy these past few days. He has a tendency to talk me into cooking or preparing something for him to eat and then he doesn't want to eat. Or he will ask me for seconds and I will just give him alittle bit and he doesn't eat it. I will even ask him if he is sure he is still hungry before I give it to him. He will pull this a lot at suppertime and then wake up ravenous and demanding breakfast right then and there. Dear son let me wake up first.

Summer Cold

I am just downright miserable today. I have an awful summer cold and can't breathe through my nose.
Yesterday, I found someplace for all the kiddos to be and I took Jim out to dinner for his birthday. We had a gift certificate from Christmas that we had not used yet so we went there for lunch. I really did not want to go but I knew it isn't often I get a babysitter. His birthday is actually today but he is singing at a church all day today. He was there last night too.
He ordered a steak and was in pure heaven. I ordered a fancy tuscany turkey sandwich but I couldn't taste a single thing.
Today I am going to make Jim Spaghetti which he will be thrilled about.
I pray that the kids will behave today because I am feeling so worn out and short tempered.
I am off to find some kleenex.

It's a part of Life

My son Dominic asked me this morning if I was going to die when I get old. I said yes, and then he asked if Daddy was going to die too. I said " Yes everyone dies when they get old (not wanting to get into the fact that some people might even die when they are young)but he didn't need to worry about that right now because mommy and daddy aren't going anywhere right now and he will be a grown man with a family of his own when we die". He was very upset and started to cry. He had brought it up again later and it seems to really be bothering him. I would love some advice on this if anyone feels like sharing.

Wet Pants Story

I received this in an email today and it really touched me. I am not sure who the authors is. We could all learn a lesson from this.

WET PANTS STORY
Come with me to a third grade classroom....
There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk
and all of a sudden
there is a puddle between his feet
and the front of his pants
are wet.
He thinks his heart is going to stop
because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened.
It's never happened before,
and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it.
When the girls find out,
they'll never speak to him again
as long as he
lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop,
he puts his head down and prays this prayer,
"Dear God, this is an emergency!
I need help now!
Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher
with a look in her eyes that says
he has been discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him,
a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water.
Susie trips in front of the teacher
and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water
in the boy's
lap.
The boy pretends to be angry,
but all the while is saying to himself,
"Thank you, Lord!
Thank you, Lord!"
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule,
the boy is the object of sympathy.
The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on
while his pants dry out.
All the other children are on their hands and knees
cleaning up around his desk.
The sympathy is wonderful.
But
as life would have it,
the ridicule that should have been his
has been transferred to some one else -
Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out.
"You've done enough,
you klutz!"
Finally,
at the end of the day,
as they are waiting for the bus,
the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

My Son Dominic

I have had a few people ask me about my children and I thought I would share alittle bit of there story with you my readers.
Dominic was our first foster child back in 2000. We got him directly from the hospital at two months of age. He was born addicted to Crack Cocaine and Heroin and had to go through a rough withdrawal. He had almost died and had to be resuscitated. When we got him at 2 months he was pretty much over the withdrawal except for some minor tremors. He had hypertonic muscles especially in his hip region. We got him into early intervention and he started Physical therapy right away.
Dominic has always been a pretty happy child and was developing a little ahead of schedule, which was a blessings despite his challenges at birth. When he was around two he started to show a lot of aggression and a lot of repetitive behaviors. We was obsessed with light switches and shutting cabinet doors and drawers. He also started lining up cars and other toys. He would throw temper tantrums quite often and wanted this his way. At first we had thought it was because we had taken in another child who was younger than him and also the terrible twos. His aggression became very scary because it was all focused on our middle child, Reynaldo. We was hit and bit and almost pushed down the stairs. After going through some evals we were given a diagnosis on PDD-NOS which later was changed to Aspergers. Life was rough with him for a few years but after therapy with Dr.'s and through a preschool disabled program and many meds, he is doing wonderful. He is a lot more social then he was but still prefers to be by himself. He loves for things to be quiet and on his terms. He hates change and it is hard for him to have to change anything. He is an extremely picky eater and for a while there he was living on P,B&J only.
He started Kindergarten last fall in a mainstream class with a fulltime aid. After a few months of that we removed the aide. He was doing wonderful on is own. He is extremely bright and loves school. I am so proud of how far he has come. He also has issues with ADHD & sensory integration disorder and we do a brushing technique on him. I haven't done it that much this summer because he has been going to camp and gets a lot of sensory input from outside play.
I have seen some instances where his social skills are lacking. He has a hard time reading social cues from others and doesn't seem to notice when other children are mad at him. He likes things his way too so I am sure that doesn't help. We really need to work on those things more. My Dominic is now 6 1/2 and getting ready to start 1st grade. We had adopted him in Nov of 2003 along with our other son Reynaldo. His birthmother gave birth to him and walked out of the hospital and was never heard from or seen again. A birthfather was never named. The adoption had taken quite awhile because the caseworker had to keep searching for the birthmother. She never was located.

I am Crabby

I am soooo crabby. I can't stand this heat!! Ok now I feel better! I managed to clean my daughters toy chest and closet out today and have 1 bag of stuff to donate and I had a lot to throw out. I had to be slick though because she kept trying to look in the bag. I can't imagine how much worst this will get as she gets older.
I need to get some storage bins for the boys toys. All relatives reading this.. Please do not buy my kids toys for Christmas that have a zillion pieces. They are so hard to keep sorted.

I had thrown out a dirty old tennis ball that Reynaldo had found and he just about had a fit. He is a true pack rat. My mother would say he takes after me but I have changed my ways since I got my children. The less you have, the easier it is to keep your house clean.
Back to my cleaning I must go..

Can you feel the cool air?

AWWWWWW...... Air Conditioning! What would we do without it. I have been complaining lately that I wish we had central air. It has been so hot and the heat has really been getting to me. No wonder I love Fall and Winter. I guess I should be thankful and feel blessed for that fact that we own an air conditioner.
I decided to stay home from church today. It is going to be a scorcher of a day and I can't imagine being in a hot building, trying to keep my kids with me while I hobble on my leg and the driving there. I am really not supposed to be driving anyway.
I am going to clean my house. I need to give some stuff away and get organized. When my house is a mess, I feel so out of control. I am going to play some uplifting music and get to work.

My Life Group

I am so thankful for the ladies in my Wednesday night lifegroup. I look so forward to spending the evening with them studying God's Word and just getting to know each of them individually. We are each so different but yet we mesh together so well. God knew what he was doing when he put us together. When we had a tough situation regarding childcare and I was so worried about how we could handle this they all pulled together and came up with a solution. We are like a family. We love and care about each other and when someone is missing we aren't the same.
I just pray that we will continue to Grow in the Lord and closer to each other.
Sisters if you are reading this I love ya!!!

Night of Terrors.

My Little "World's famous Soccer Player" Reynaldo had a horrible night of night terrors last night. It had been awhile since he had last them. It bothers me that he is still having them but thank goodness they are not everynight like before. I made a bed for him on my floor and he laid there crying while I tried to "WAKE" him up. He would respond but it was like he was just not there. Nights like these always scare me. Finally he calmed down and drifted off to sleep. I awoke an hour later with him crying again and he looked like he was literally running on his side. Finally I had him just climb in bed with us so he would feel more secure and I could hold him. I couldn't keep getting up with my foot like it is.
All I could do was prayer for him and hold him and we went back to sleep.

A Big Flip and then Flop..

Call me a Klutz but I now have a possible torn ligament in my foot. I was trying to think of a creative reason for my mishap but the plain truth is quite cominical if the truth be told. My darling little girl loves to leave things laying around the house. While traveling through my house saturday night and flipping off lights on my way to my bedroom, I stumbled on something in the hallway and landed very wrong on my foot and heard a snap, crack, pop sound that puts Rice Krispies to shame. I also jarred my hip. The obstacle in my path was a lime green and purple Flip Flop Sandal that belongs to the little "Fashion Princess" herself. Sunday I took a trip to the Er with my husband ,after my children were in the care of my in laws, and went through X-Rays to my foot, ankle and hip. They drugged me with a pain pill, wrapped me up in an ace bandage and air cast and proceeded to give me a quick tutorial in Crutches 101. After making an attempt to walk with them without landing on my face they had me sign papers and sent me on my way. I was given strict instructions to ice it, keep it elevated and take the meds. How do you stay off your foot with three little monkeys running around who still "need" me for everything. Fat Chance at resting. I have been doing my best!! My darling husband has had to pick up the slack and take on my duties. Can you hear my little violins playing for him? Welcome to my World of Kids!!
Why couldn't I have least been trying a new dance move? Or skiing the French Alps ? Note to self.......Enforce a Zero tolerance for flip flop offenders.

" You Can't Marry Him"

It seems like forever since I have taken the time to Blog. I haven't even read the blogs that I usually read. I feel so out of touch with people's lives.

Saturday my daughter Kiarrah and I went to a Bridal Shower for "Auntie Frances" It was a nice little shower with Fran's close friends and family. Kiarrah got all dressed up in a party dress and lace socks and her church shoes. She even matched the party decorations with the colors she was wearing. Kiarrah is not very happy about Fran marrying Seth. She told Fran that she can't marry Seth because she wanted to marry him. She has a little crush on him. Fran's mom asked me if I though we could train Kiarrah to say that at the wedding when the minister asked if anyone objects. She is being serious. My son Dominic is going to be the ringbear at that wedding. I can't wait to see him all dressed up.