Bathroom Words

Kiarrah has recently become obsessed with daily announcing that Rey or Dom used bathroom words. Rey likes to say Fart which he knows I hate so I hear this from Kiarrah all the time. She gets very exasperated with him. I am trying to teach her not to tattle all of the time because the boys get very mad at her and it doesn't help to keep the sibling rivalry under control. I told her to only tell me if someone is doing something where they could get hurt or hurt someone else. She just isn't catching on. The other day I made the mistake of using the word snot. Kiarrah was quick to tattle on me to daddy. " Daddy Mommy is using nose words". Can you believe her?

Something Fun

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Random emotional thoughts....

I have so much on my mind today, I am just not sure what to write. It is the same way I feel about all of the things I have to do. Where do I even begin? I have been feeling so lonely lately and that is just downright sad because I have so many people around me. I get in moods like this though and I start shutting people out. It is almost like I don't want them to see the real me. Then I start questioning who the real me is. God has really been working on me a lot lately and trying to show me my potential. If you are not a Christian you will not understand this. How can God show me something? How can God work on me? When you have a close relationship with him and spend time with Him in prayer and worship He speaks to you. Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear. Sometimes it hurts bad. Sometimes He reveals things in you that you want to forget. Funny thing is that you just can't hide it from Him. He is all knowing. I am struggling so much with my self esteem. I see so much ugliness in myself and wonder why and how people would want to be a friend too me. I feel so much like my life is out of control. It isn't but I have some major control issues. I expect perfection out of myself and those around me. Who am I to expect such things. No one is perfect. I want everything in my life to run so smoothly and MY way but that isn't always God's way. I am trying to learn that because things aren't always my way that isn't a bad thing. Take this pregnancy for instance. I would not have planned things this way. BUT there was a reason God chose to bless us this way and at this time. I might not see it not and I might never see it but I need to learn to relax and lean on God. I have so many fears about being a mother to another child but if I share that I make myself so vulnerable to others. I don't want people to see my weaknesses. It is as if people won't respect me as much. I wonder how we are going to financial be able to afford another child. Maybe it is more of a Faith issue. Aren't I the person always says that If God brings you to it, He will see you through it. It is so easy to say the stuff but I need to get it hidden in my heart and truly believe it. I guess if U had to chose a few words to explain how I feel right now they would be overwhelmed, disordered, sad, worried and confused. I need to meditate on Philippians 4:8 "Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-mediate on these things. " Maybe if I focus on these things I will stop dwelling on my worries and fears and imperfections.

Cycling

I am so frustrated right now with the whole Bipolar issue. Whenever it seems like Reynaldo is doing so much better it goes and changes. His moods had finally hit a stabilized level and he seemed so happy but then he stopped eating again. It seems like when he takes a dosage that is beneficial for him it affects his stomach and he cant eat. The leg cramps also start. We decided to bring his dosage back down which still works but not as affective. He has more crying jags, my anger outbursts and just lots of cycling. We have an appointment next month and I really pray that the Dr. can do something and can help him. We might have to change meds all together which is always a rough road. I just want my baby boy to be happy. I hate seeing him like this. he just can not afford to lose anymore weight. We already have his meals supplemented with pediasure.
Hopefully we can get through this and get some help.

First Belly Shot

I swore I would never take pictures of my belly if I ever got pregnant. I guess I should have never said never. Here I am at 16 weeks.

Some People just don't get it...

Can you believe that someone at my hubby's work actually had the nerve to ask us what we were gonna do with our other children now that we are having a baby. As if you imply that we will be returning them and cancelling out their adoptions. I was appalled. We are a family!!!!! We are not starting a family. We are adding on to our family.

It's a .........

GIRL. We found out on March 6th at my 16 week check up that the Baby is a Little Girl. I think I knew because I wasn't shocked. It was really funny too because everyone kept saying I was going to have a girl. Now I will have two boys and two girls. Kiarrah was ecstatic. She kept saying that I was having a girl and she was only going to have a sister. She really enjoyed seeing the Ultrasound and kept saying hi to the baby.
When I told the boys after school what sex the baby was, Reynaldo cried his eyes out the whole way home. He was very angry at God because God wasn't giving him a little brother.
Dominic was indifferent about it but said he hoped she wasn't like Kiarrah. Nothing like an annoying little sister.
While the tech was doing the Ultrasound and was showing us different views that she was a girl, the baby at one point had put her hands over her private parts as if to say, You can't see NannyNannyBooBoo. We found that to be quite funny.
Everything is looking really good and she is right on target with her growth. I go back into the Dr on Monday for an exam and to go over my blood sugars. I have been keeping them down, in fact I have been going too low the past few days during the day but my morning sugar is just not low enough. Lower than it has ever been but not where they want you to be if you are pregnant.
The morning sickness has reduced to about once a day which is such a relief. I can handle that compared to 3-4 times a day.
Lately my craving has been grapefruit. Just can't seem to be getting enough of it.
Today I bought my first item for the baby. I picked out a little onesie that was pink and on the front it says "Worth the Wait". I just felt it was so appropriate.
I cant wait to start buying little dresses. It is so funny because I had said I wanted a boy. But I am just as excited with a girl.

Puke there it isnt

A day without throwing up? Can it be? This is the first time in a long time. I actually managed to eat a meal without getting sick. I only pray I am not speaking too soon. Maybe the end of the morning sickness is near? I am 14 weeks and 4 days today! Yeah!

NEW NEW NEW

The boys are finally starting to really adjust at their new school. Dominic is in a mainstream first grade class and really is advancing in his reading. He loves school and is quite fond of his "pretty" blond haired young teacher. He says that she is beautiful. He has made a lot of friends and I get so happy when I see him interact with the other kids. There is not much sign of lacking in social skills there.
Reynaldo was moved back to a Kindergarten class and is progressing finally. When we moved to the new school they had first placed him in a transitional first grade class. After the child study team went over his records they felt it would be beneficial for him to redo Kindergarten because he was lacking a lot of the basic foundational skills that were needed to move forward in first grade. I didn't hesitate on this decision and was quite happy considering I had pushed last year to have him held back and they wouldn't listen to my concerns. He is in a special needs class and they work at his speed. I am very happy with the class thus far. This is not to negate the fact that I am concerned because the aide in the class needs to learn how to spell. I want so much for the boys education and want them to learn to the fullest. I just feel this school is so much better than the last one in so many ways. I am considering looking into Charter schools as they get older. Maybe by then our church will have a school for their grades. The sad fact is that the requirements to get a teaching license is not that stringent.
Kiarrah is an an Abbot Daycare/Preschool. I am not thrilled with it and I am trying to qualify for Aid to send her to our churches preschool where they use the Abeka Curriculum. That is my ideal plan.
The kids all seem to be adjusting well to city living. It is preggo momma here that is having a hard time. I am doing better than I thought but I do miss more open space.
I need to go break up world war 2 of the day...

Surprise...

Ok. I need to get off of this ride that is a downward spiral of depression. This should be such an exciting time of my life but instead I am dealing with being sick all the time, feeling overwhelmed with life and scared out of my mind with adding another child into our family. I guess these are normal feelings and my hormones aren't helping matter much. Don't get me wrong. I am extrememly excited that I am pregnant and going to have a baby that is part of Jim and I.
I will be 14 weeks tomorrow and the morning sickness is just not letting up. I am set off by the smell of everything. Even the smell of toast toasting. I can't cook without getting sick and I love to cook. I also have a major aversion to hair. I feel like I have hair in my throat all of the time and it makes me throw up. It has even gotten so bad that I sometimes picture hair in my food and then I can't eat. It is even hard to give my husband a kiss because of his facial hair. Am I messed up in the head?
I have an appointment with the Dr. on friday so I hope that maybe he will put me on something so I can get over this yucky yucky feeling. I had hoped that when I started my second trimester that this would go away.
Everything else is changing on my body and this is all so new to me. The big boobs( hey I paid for those to go away years ago with a surgery), the weak bladder, and the nothing fits me right now problem. I think maybe I need a change of attitude. I guess I should look at the sickness as a postitive thing. It means the baby is growing and moving around. Someone give me an attitude adjustment.

All Day Sickness

Whoever coined the term morning sickness has no clue what they are talking about. I am now seven weeks as of today and I have nausea on and off all day long. UGH!. Crackers don't help at all for me. I had finally discovered some ginger drop candies and those help somewhat. I just wish them made them in sugar free.
Our little munchkin is due on August 26th. Kiarrah is adamant that it will be a girl. She will not hear of me having a boy. She claims her brothers can have another brother but she will only have a sister. I told that she is gonna have to do some talking to God. Reynaldo wants a sister only if she is nothing like Kiarrah. He would also like a little brother. Dominic just wants a baby period. It could be either as long as he gets to help take care of it. He wants to feed it.
We are pretty sure about the names we want. If it is a girl we really like the name Hannah Grace and for a boy we like Elijah Perry.
We had our second ultrasound on Thursday and everything looked really good.
Right now we are just in the process of packing to move in a few weeks. That is going to be a big change for us but one we are looking forward too.

And then there were 4

I have not written on here in forever and after much harrassment from my readers ( I love you guys) I figured I best update everyone. Well, first the BIG NEWS!!! After 13 years of being infertile and having almost adopted three children, I am NOW PREGNANT. I am still in major major shock of this and full of worry and such. I could really use your prayers. I am considered a high risk due to my age, weight and the fact that I have diabetes. I go for my first sonogram next thursday so I will find out more accurately how far along I am.
I have completed my first semester of College. I really enjoyed it and did really well grade wise. I am planning on still taking classes next semester but I am going to have to cut down on the number of classes.
The kids are extremely excited about Christmas. I am done shopping and just now need to get my house in order for company.
I pray all of you have a Beautiful Christmas and remember Jesus is the Reason for the season.

Thanksgiving

I havent written on here in forever. I thought I would take a moment and write down all of the things that I am thankful for.
My husband, who loves me unconditionally.
My children who are a gift from God.
A family that respects me.
Friends that are real and true and I can always count on them.
A loving GOD who loves me and is always there for me and always provides for me. He also dies for my sins. He is an awesome God.

Inspiring Heroes for Today's Youth

When I stop to think of all of the people in my life that have inspired me, I am quite shocked at how small the list really is. It takes a lot to ignite a passion in me. Those people that make it to my list are people who have made the difference in the lives of children. Children are my passion, and people that take the time in life to motivate and encourage them earn my respect.
One of the two people who inspires me is a man by the name of Dave Pelzer. He is the author of A Child Called It and several other books that give an account of the abuse that he endured in the hands of his unstable, alcoholic mother. His case was one of the most severe and gruesome cases of child abuse in California history. He suffered years of physical, mental and emotional abuse that I can not even fathom. His mother played such severe mind games with him and called him an “It.” He was sent to school in filthy clothing that didn’t even fit him and was fed scraps of food that even an animal wouldn’t touch. No one in the outside world knew the hell that he was living behind closed doors. Finally at the age of twelve, with the help of a teacher, he was rescued and removed from his home and went on to live a life where he circumvented the maze of the foster care system. When he got older he joined the armed forces. He is now a world recognized motivational speaker to teens and those in the human service professions. He tells his story and shows how you can make a difference in the world no matter what your background baggage may be. This is a man who has beaten the odds and has gone on to win many prestigious awards. Pelzer was honored as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Americans in 1993. I admire his strength and will to live. Without that he would have never made it through those hellish years alive.
The other person that inspires me is also a great motivator of today’s children. He is a young man named Ron Clark. Clark decided to leave his small town in North Carolina, live in Harlem, and teach some of the most challenging and troubled students. He was nominated Teacher of the Year in 2000, which was of no surprise to those whose lives have been affected by his teaching techniques. He has passion and huge amount of creativity to reach them. He uses his enthusiasm and love to encourage them. He shows the students that he cares about them and their success. Clark has written several bestsellers that are used to inspire teachers and parents alike. In the book Excellent 11, Clark shares the eleven qualities that he has seen in teachers that make a difference. These qualities are: enthusiasm, confidence, adventure, creativity, reflection, balance, compassion, humor, common sense, appreciation and resilience. I wish more teachers cared more about the lives they encounter everyday in their classrooms. Ron Clark is a teacher I wish I would have had in school.
These two men have been a strong example to me and have helped me to see the difference I have made as a foster parent. Many times I struggle with the feelings that I am not doing enough. I get called monthly to take in more foster children but I know my limits. There are so many children in this world that have never felt loved or like they are worth anything. When I look at my three children I remind myself where they might be if I had not taken them in. You can make a difference in the life of a child. All it takes is reaching one youngster at a time. I hope that I can inspire someone around me to reach out and make a difference.

Thank you for the Prayers

Thank goodness my sister did ok in her gallbladder surgery. I have been worried sick about her. The Dr. was able to remove it laproscopically. He said that he could tell that it had been giving her problems for a long while. I was giving myself an ulcer this morning because of worry and not being able to get in touch with any of my family to get an update.
Thank you for your prayers for her.

New Family Addition

Now that I have your attention!!!!!!!!We have a new addition to our family after much chiding from Reynaldo. Diego is Reynaldo's new hamster. I have to admit he is kind of cute but there ain't no way I am ever going to touch him. He gives me the heebie geebies. I have a fear of mice and he looks too much like one.
Reynaldo is besides himself with excitement. I love to see him so happy. He loves animals so much but is so allergic to everything. Jim thought we should name him MC Hamster. He is a dork. I like the Name Diego.

WIndy WIndy Day

What a windy day it is. Dominic was actually scared to be in a separate room then me because of the sound of it blowing at the house. He cracks me up because he can be so mature for his age and then there are times like this that he needs mommy.
We stayed home from church today unfortunately because Kiarrah is just not feeling well. She started an antibiotic yesterday for an upper respiratory infection. Poor thing has been pumped up with steroids and nebulizer treatments.
Yesterday was Dominic's 7th Birthday. Where has the time gone. I am just amazed at the fact that I have a 7 yr old. He has come so far. I remember when he was three and I was so worried about how he would be as he got older with his Aspergers. He is adjusting so well. We still need to work a little more on boundaries and social skills but wow. He has me amazed.
We went out for our traditional birthday breakfast with Grandma and Grandpa B. Dominic gorged himself in his favorite pancakes, french toast sticks, donuts and rolls. He is a major CARB JUNKIE. I don't know where he puts all of it. Actually I do. The kiddo gained 5 pounds in the past month due to his meds. We are in the process of switching the med now.
Last night we had a little get together with Dominics godparents. We enjoyed a football field cake and a few snacks. He was very happy with new games for his Playstation.
I was so relieved to be able to set my clock back an hour today.
This morning Dominic came in my room and told me that he would like to stay home with me and Kiarrah from church so that he can help take care of Kiarrah. I was onto him with this and asked him if he would still want to stay home if he couldn't play his play station. I got a scowl for that. He did stay home though. :)
I need to go get some homework done.

Long Weekend

It has been a long tiring weekend and I wish I could say tomorrow will be relaxing but it won't. Friday night I had English Class and the kids stayed with their "adoptive" grandma. She has been one of my bigger supporters in my life and I thank God for her all of the time. She always makes me feel so much better after I talk to her. She was so sweet. I came home to a nice quiet house with an empty kitchen sink. Jim was away singing in a concert in PA. She was like a proud mom because I came home with my first college Essay that had been graded and I had gotten an A. My parents and my my father in law has also been supportive of me going back to school. It has been such a scary step for me but people have been there to give me advice and encouragement when I needed it the most.
Saturday I got up early and went to a consignment sale at a church with my friend Chris. We were looking for items to buy at good prices to resell on eBay. That is how I make my Christmas money and just to help supplement our income. With my children I am not really able to work outside of the house. Now with school I can't really even do side jobs. It has been a pure faith way of living and God seems to always supply my families needs somehow. We never seem to go without when it is something we really need. You can check out my auctions here http://stores.ebay.com/Kiarrahs-Closet.
Today we had church and I have been studying off and on for a Huge Biology test tomorrow. I am really worried about it. It is so much information to try and absorb.
The kids have off tomorrow and my husband doesn't have to work. Maybe I will be able to sleep in a little. Jim is working security at our new church building tonight with Dominic until 11, so I know Dominic will be tired.
unfortunately, Kiarrah usually gets up early regardless of the time she goes to bed. Hopefully I can get her to play quietly in her room until at least 8am. Boy do I miss the days of sleeping in.
Back to the books I must go.

I'm leaving on a long bus.(sang to "I'm leaving on a Jet Plane")

While cleaning up my room yesterday, I noticed Kiarrah running through the hallway with her piggy bank. What gave it away? The jingle jangle of coinage in the plastic pig!! I asked her what she was doing and she said that Rey needed it for a bus. I figured they were pretending something which they do quite often. A few minutes later I go into Reynaldo's room to check on them and notice he is dressed like this and has a bad attitude. He was still pissed at me from something earlier in the day. I will blog on that later. I asked him what he was doing and he proceeded to tell me that he doesn't want to live here anymore and was leaving. I asked him where he was going and he said to MeMa's house and he was going to take a "big long people bus". Kiarrah piped up and said that was why she was giving him her money from her piggy bank. Why the need to be nice and share now my dear? I asked him how he was going to find a bus and he said He Would and He was getting out of here.
Please note what he is dressed in. There is no shirt under that jean jacket.
My husband came home a little while later and dealt with him. When I got home from school later that night I checked out his backpack to see what he had packed. He had all of his cars and motorcycles. The prized possessions. In the morning I told him that next time he decides to run away he really should wear sneakers, pack clothes and pack some food. He didn't like that too much. Notice the attitude in the picture. Today he loves living at home. I wonder why.

Spared me the clean up..

Today we had a birthday party for Reynaldo at a bowling alley. He had a few of his friends from church and school there along with his brother and sister. The kids really seemed to enjoy themselves while bowling. Kiarrah would throw the ball and then sit down to watch it slowly descend down the lane. Dominic was quite serious about his bowling and even got a spare. Reynaldo was just happy to be there. He is quite the social butterfly.
Grandma and Grandpa B came to join in the celebration. Grandpa B helped me tremendously by taking lots of pictures of the little ones. He is excellent in his picture taking skills. I can't wait to get the pictures and to scrap them.
We had a chocolate cake with the movie "CARS" theme.
I loved the fact that I didnt really have to do anything to prepare for this party. The bowling alley decorates the party room, provides the food, and even cleans up. Very stress free.
I think I got a Strike going this route for a party!!!!!!!!!!