Spared me the clean up..

Today we had a birthday party for Reynaldo at a bowling alley. He had a few of his friends from church and school there along with his brother and sister. The kids really seemed to enjoy themselves while bowling. Kiarrah would throw the ball and then sit down to watch it slowly descend down the lane. Dominic was quite serious about his bowling and even got a spare. Reynaldo was just happy to be there. He is quite the social butterfly.
Grandma and Grandpa B came to join in the celebration. Grandpa B helped me tremendously by taking lots of pictures of the little ones. He is excellent in his picture taking skills. I can't wait to get the pictures and to scrap them.
We had a chocolate cake with the movie "CARS" theme.
I loved the fact that I didnt really have to do anything to prepare for this party. The bowling alley decorates the party room, provides the food, and even cleans up. Very stress free.
I think I got a Strike going this route for a party!!!!!!!!!!

Rage Triggers

I recently had to write on the essay "The Road Warrior" by Dave Barry and here is what came of it.

In the essay "The Road Warrior" , Dave Barry goes on a tangent explaining the cause and effects brought on by Road Rage. His comical viewpoints of life also enlighten us on other causes of rage.

While pondering my everyday life, as a full time mommy, I see many other trigger points for rage. How about public bathroom rage? It can be set off by a lone unflushed and clogged toilet, or a scarcity of "one-ply and it ain't Angel Soft" toilet paper in every stall.

There is also the Expresslane rage. Ten items or less is severely challenged when the old lady ahead of you has about 50 cans of cat food in her shopping cart(or buggy has my best friend from West Virginia calls it :) ). When this is brought to her attention, she says, "But they are all the same brand" This rage has caused customers to become hostile with their shopping carts and while throwing items on the conveyor belt.

The most recent rage trigger I have participated in is the TMX Elmo RAGE, AKA, Hottest Toy for Christmas Rage". Women and men alike abandon all niceties and race to the back of the store to the toy section. Children and old people become victims of hit and runs with shopping carts. As these parents scan the shelves in search of the red furry, top secret friend, a collision occurs that resembles a pileup on Interstate 80. The uncontrollable laughter that marketing claims Elmo will bring is null and void. The few lucky folks that have mastered their football skills leave with Elmo in hand unscathed. TMX Elmo Rage can be found at the store nearest you.

Everyday Life as a Mommy

The life of a parent is not an easy feat. I don’t think I was fully prepared for how my everyday life would change with being a parent, let alone a parent to special needs children. It can be extremely chaotic, demanding and there are days when I don’t know whether I am coming or going. As crazy as things can get though, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
My oldest son, Dominic, has ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder and Aspergers Syndrome. He is a child who thrives best when his life is highly structured, as do most Autistic children. He is rigid when it comes to his routines and he can be very demanding. He likes things to always be the same everyday. For example, I know when he gets home from school he will throw his stuff on the floor, have a huge glass of water and start on his homework. I wish I could tell him that he can always have things the same but that isn’t the way life is. He also enjoys spending time by himself. He will play for hours in his room. My day is spent helping him to cope with the slightest change in routine, fixing him his staple food of peanut butter and jelly and working with him on his social skills. Our conversations are usually very predictable because commonly most children with Aspergers become very fixed on one topic. For the past month our conversations have been about football. Like most 7 year olds, he enjoys playing his play station, playing catch in the yard with Daddy and fighting with his younger siblings. Although a day with Dominic can be very demanding, it is consistent.
My younger son, Reynaldo, is quite the opposite of Dominic. He is dramatic and his behavior is erratic. He has Bipolar Disorder and you never know what mood he will be in. There are days when you feel like you are standing in the path of a tornado, get hit by it and then have to deal with cleaning up the aftermath. He can also be very emotional and sensitive. He craves attention and needs to be reassured that I am here
for him and love him. He was placed in three other homes before we got him as a foster child at nine months old. Sometimes I pour so much love into him and he is like a sponge but it just doesn’t totally quench his thirst. My day with him is spent redirecting negative behavior, giving lots of hugs and kisses and cleaning up after his rages. It is emotionally draining being a parent to a child with a mood disorder. I have to constantly keep my mood in check because everyone knows that the mommy sets the mood for the day. He also has ADHD and Sensory Integration Disorder. Due to the sensory issues, Reynaldo, like his brother, has problems with his clothing feeling right, food choices due to texture issues and a need for sensory seeking activities to self regulate. It is a challenge parenting him and handling the moods and rages but he has taught me to be more passionate about life. He cares about the little things that others might not notice. He also is always looking out for the underdog.
My youngest child is very spirited, stubborn and bossy. She keeps me on my toes all day with her crayon wielding, swinging from the ceiling fan, getting into everything, ways. Impulse control is not a part of Kiarrah’s genetic makeup due to ADHD. I spend my day with her doing safety patrol, participating in tea parties and dress up and repeating to her that she needs to make good behavior choices. She is very headstrong in her actions and we clash often. I find myself arguing with her quite often and will end many conversations with,” You are not my boss. I am your mommy.” She has a love for mischief and has gotten into her share of baby powder, Vaseline and toothpaste. I do have to admit she is very artistic with these products. She is my only girl and even at the age of three I am getting a glimpse of the challenges that lie ahead with raising her.
I may end my day completely exhausted, emotionally drained, but there is one fact that remains. I love being a mommy to my three children. I know God knew what he was doing when he brought them into my life under unusual circumstances. My everyday life before having children was pretty boring compared to my adventurous life now.

Up Before the Birds

Why is it that when I get up extra early to take a shower and have some quiet time the kids all decide it is time to get up? Sure enough it happened this morning. I figured I would get up and do that so that way I could go participate in the TMX Elmo hunt when the stores opened.
I also have two papers I have to write today. Fun Fun Fun. Can you sense my enthusiasm?

Little White Lies

She is so cute isn't she? But don't let that look fool you. She has been giving me such a run for my money lately. She has discovered how to lie to mommy. Any advice?? She is so sneaky too. I sure love her a lot but boy is she tougher to raise then the boys have been.

Back to School Night

Last night was back to school night for the boy's school. My husband and I both went to it which was like a nice little free date. Just getting to spend time together without the kids is a treat. I really liked both of the teachers and I Love the new principal. She seems to really have a heart for the children and seems to focus more on the positives then the negatives. Be change from the previous principal.
This little Poem was in the packet from one of the teachers and I really liked it though I thought I would share.

The Unity Poem
( Author Unknown)
I dreamed I stood in a studio
And watched two sculptors there.
The clay they used was a young child's mind
And they fashioned it with care.
One was a teacher, the tools he used
were books and music and art.
The other was a parent with a guiding hand
and a gentle loving heart.
Day after day, the teacher toiled with touch
That was deft and sure.
While the parent labored by his side
And polished and smoothed it o'er.
And when at last their task was done,
They were proud of what they had wrought
For the things they had molded into the child
Could never be sold or bought.
And each agree they would have failed
If each had worked alone.
For behind the parent stood the school
And Behind the teacher, the home.

It all Adds Up

I am taking an online math class for College and I took my first test tonight. I am so excited. I scored a 97%. YEA!!!! I am going to have to still study because I struggled to get some of those answers especially dealing with Exponents and Order of Operations. While doing those I would hold my breath when I would submit my answer. It was a little nerve wracking.

Reynaldo is Another Year Older

On the 10th Reynaldo turned six. The boys really think that is cool because they are both six for 1 1/2 months. On that Saturday before we met good friends of ours at Jose Tejas to celebrate. That is Reynaldos favorite restaurant. It has become a tradition. We took a little cake and the waiters and waitresses sang Happy Birthday to him. He was thrilled with his new Soccer Ball that he received. After all he is going to be the Worlds Famous Soccer Player. My husband and I bought him clothes and a baseball mitt and ball.
On Sunday he spent some time with his godfather and his girlfriend. They went to the park and kicked the ball around. He loved the attention and it meant the world to him.
He is having abowling party at the end of the month with his friends from school and from church.

To blog or not to Blog

I love to blog but I am a little frustrated this morning. I am very happy that many people love to read my blog but sometimes I need to write and I just can't share what I want to get out because I don't want to offend people that read it. I need to get some stuff off of my chest but I don't want others to look at me different. It is such a tough thing because you would love some feedback but at the same time others might be involved. Know what I mean? Guess these posts will have to be ones for the good old Diary.

AHHHHH A Moment of Peace

Life is insanely busy right now and I have been horrible about writing on my blog. So much as been going on lately. School started for the kids and myself. The boys are adjusting. Reynaldo still hates school and we have nightly battles over homework. Papers get wadded up and pencils go flying. I just don't know how to make it better for Reynaldo. He seems so apprehensive while waiting for the bus in the morning. Dominic on the other hand loves school and comes in and starts his homework right away. He talks my ear off about everything he did that day and I love seeing him like this.
My classes are going really well. I am not to nervous about my English and Math class but I am worried about Biology. I am trying to get myself structured and getting used to studying. That part has been alittle difficult because I am also trying to keep my household in order.
There is a nice mix of people in my classes or varying ages which comforts me. I still get extremely nervous when I leave for class but I am able to calm down alittle. I am just so afraid of having a full blown panic attack. I have been spending a lot of time praying before class. :)
Kiarrah is having a hard time with me being gone more but that will take time. She begs me to take her and promises that she will be good. It is good for her and the boys to have some more time with daddy.
Back to the Books......

Back to School

The kids have started school this week and I am enjoying the little bit of free time to get things accomplished. Dominic loves school and comes home so happy and excited and talkative. If you know Dominic you will know that this is close to a miracle considering he has Aspergers and can be very closed up. He has come so far and I can say it is because of early intervention and therapy. He still has his times but loves to learn. He is like a sponge and learns so visually. He forgot one of the teachers names but could spell it.
Reynaldo on the other hand hates school with a passion. The first day he went back he was so anxious and couldn't sleep which is understandable. I remember feeling that way before school started when I was a child. He left with a smile and found a frown to bring home. Homework time is even worse. He is already struggling with remembering. We really need to have him tested for auditory processing.
He seems to be regulating his moods at school Thank goodness but seems to be very explosive when he comes home again. I need to take him to have his blood work done again to see if his meds for Bipolar are still at a therapeutic level.

The long Car Ride

The battles of getting Reynaldo to eat

Reynaldo is still not eating well for me and is still not putting on weight. Dominic has informed us why this is. He sure saved me a trip to the Dr. Dominic's theory is that Reynaldo is not hungry because he eats his finger nails!!! Why didn't I think of that.

What a Morning

Kiarrah threw a temper tantrum from the moment she woke up today. She wanted Fruit snacks and I would not give in. The deal lately has been if she stays dry at school with no accidents she can have a pack of fruit snacks as a reward. She screamed and kicked with real tears. I can't understand how the boys managed to sleep through it. No Dear Kiarrah, Mommy is not going to give in to you even though you are adorable.

Pictures from Trip

Dominic and Cousin Timmy



Aunt Jaimeers and Kiarrah







Rey Enjoying Aunt Mindi and Uncle Todd's Pool

Back from Vacation

We arrived back home Sunday night, late, after a wonderful vacation spent with family and friends in Indiana. The kids had a blast spending a lot of time outside swimming, playing ball and running with cousins. It was a very relaxing time and I dreaded come back to Jersey. I guess I am not such a city girl after all. I enjoyed sitting on my parents porch listening to the cicada's and watching cars and people walk by in slow motion. Heck people are just downright friendly. I walked into a store and asked where to find something and I was greeted with " Well, First of all Welcome honey and let me show you where to find that". Sales clerks actually offer to help you find something. Everything just seems so much more laid back. This whole visit made be want to "get the heck out of Dodge".
I got to see my sisters. All I can say is WOW about my sister Jaimee. She looks amazing. She had gastric bypass a year ago. She is less than half the person she was.
My grandparents have gotten so much older and that really saddened me. I spent some good quality time with them though.
My mom made some amazing meals as usual and we went to my Aunts for dinner one night for her wonderful lasagna.
The trip out was not a joy. Reynaldo and Kiarrah fought the whole way and we also hit so much construction. Also it was hard to find a hotel due to Little League world series being held. They jacked up all the prices at the ones that did have rooms available.
On the way back home we stopped in Ohio for a visit with Jim's Aunt and Uncle. We enjoyed a meal with them and visited for a few hours. Hi Aunt was another person who looked amazing. She had the surgery too. I didn't recognize her at all.
The trip home was uneventful. Same sibling fighting and construction but that is to be expected.
I will try to post some pictures later.

Bullies and Jesus

While sitting on the porch waiting for Kiarrah to get home from her program, Reynaldo asked me why we always talk about Jesus. After I gave him an explanation he then proceeded to ask me why Bullies don't talk about Jesus. He then said that they should. Out of the mouths of babes.

Aspergers

Dominic got in big trouble at camp yesterday. With everything that has been happening with him lately and his anger I am worried about what lies ahead. We had gone through such a wonderful lull.
I really need to work with him on his social skills. I will admit he has been dealing with a rough bunch of kids at camp and he wants to fit in so bad. There was a boy that kept cutting in line and Dominic had had enough and decided to spit in the boys face. I was shocked because he had never done that before. I tried to explain to him that he can't take matters into his own hands because then he is the one that will get into trouble. How do you teach a child to stand up for themselves but yet not hurt the other child? He doesn't read social cues very well like most children with Aspergers and I see how it can cause some problems for him. 1st grade should be interesting.

I hate Racism

You know, Some people just really irritate me. I took the kids to the park after church on Sunday to get all their hyperness out. While there the boys were playing with two other little boys, one of which was very aggressive. All of the boys were playing rough. One of them kept throwing the mulch at Dominic and he was getting very angry. Dominic started throwing stuff back at him and then Reynaldo stepped in because no matter how much Dom and him fight, Rey is very loyal and hates to see others being picked on. He decided to shove the boy. THEY WERE ALL GUILTY AS CHARGED. I headed over in that direction to intervene. ( I usually try to let the boys work things out on their own until it gets out of control)The mother of the other boys gets there first and starts yelling at MY children. I froze. I didn't even know what to do because she had a very strong attitude. I proceeded to pull the boys away from her and apologized and said that all of them were out of control and they need to keep their hands to themselves and stop throwing stuff. She gives me a dirty look when we walk away.
I proceeded to put the boys in a time out because of what they did. When I let them go play Dominic decided to go play ball with two little Polish kids. He was having a blast and my other two children were playing on the jungle gym.
The mother of the two boys from earlier comes over to me and says REALLY Loud with Attitude ( head bobbling finger waving) "You see your boy over there? You need to tell him to come back here on the equipment. Someone could take him. You need to watch him". I was shocked. First of all, He was close by. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am very overprotective of my kids and can be very neurotic while out in public with them. They have to be right by me. I know the dangers that lurk out there and I deal with anxiety daily over something happening to them. Dominic was not in any danger, He was close by, there were a lot of kids playing over there. After she said this to me she went back to her table of friends and proceeded to talk all loud and look at me. I didn't make Dominic come over to me. In fact the woman I was speaking to prior to her announcement rolled her eyes and was like " What's her problem?" Here is where the racism comes in. I am white, my kids are black and Hispanic and she was black. She obviously has a problem with me and my children. Why did she only say something to me about my child? Why didn't she go to the other parents whose children were farther away? She accomplished what she wanted. She upset me and it has bothered me for days. Why are people like this?

Peaceful Day

The kids and I had a pretty enjoyable day today. Kiarrah went to her program this morning and then the boys and I met her there for a visit with the psychiatrist. He went fairly well. He decided to add a medicine to help her sleep at night. She is always so wired in the evenings. It is like she held her hyperactivity in all day and needed to just let it all out at night. So she is hyper all evening and can't relax to fall asleep. After that, we went and say the movie Barnyard. We all really enjoyed it.Kiarrah decided that she wants a Branyard. Do I have a little farm girl on my hands? I met my friend Dawn and her daughter afterwards at the mall and we had an early dinner followed by a trip to the park that didn't last long due to RAIN!!! I could barely see the road coming home. All in all a pretty decent day with only a few battles of the Wills. Kiarrah threw a tantrum at bedtime with her usually " I hate my room, I hate my bed, I wanna sleep in your bed mommy. Needless to say she is sleeping on the floor in the boys nice and cool room. We have another storm coming through and I had to shut all the windows.